


Ebb and Flow

by QueenFlash



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-15
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:47:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 32,740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25272667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenFlash/pseuds/QueenFlash
Summary: A series of Jemily oneshots, largely based on a Tumblr "dialogue prompts" post. Some based on canon, some will be complete AUs.
Relationships: Jennifer "JJ" Jareau/Emily Prentiss
Comments: 49
Kudos: 201





	1. 13.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not going in order of the list, just rolling with whichever one gives me inspiration at the moment :) hence, only giving numbers as the chapter titles. More will be coming...

Fluorescent lights burned through Emily’s closed eyelids. She pressed the heels of her hands into them in an attempt to stifle the brightness, but it did nothing and only seemed to amplify the sounds around her. 

Beeping machines hooked up to people clinging on for dear life. Murmured voices discussing painful or joyful news. Echoing footsteps belonging to strangers she would never know or talk to. Silent prayers being offered to whatever higher power might exist up there.

Emily opened her eyes with a sigh and stared straight ahead; someone had tried to cheer up the atmosphere of the waiting room with a painting full of bright colors. The sudden urge to rip the art off the wall and tear it up into countless pieces coursed through Emily at rapid speed. It had no business being cheerful while hanging in a place notorious for bated breaths and broken hearts.

A check of her watch told Emily she’d been sitting in the plastic chair for nearly three excruciating hours. She tried to ignore the fact not a shred of information had come her way since arriving at the hospital.

Shot. Missed her vest. No exit wound. Pools of blood.

These facts – the only few of which Emily was actually aware – cycled through her mind as though they longed to become a life mantra. Every time Emily pushed them away, they came back louder and more stubborn.

Emily thought of a flight to Paris and Scrabble and worried eyes and dreams she couldn’t quite explain. All just fleeting chapters in her life, but when read together, made for the most important parts of Emily’s story. The memories, though slightly calming, sparked another fear Emily hadn’t had to think about in a while: all of the things she could’ve said, should’ve said, still wanted to say.

Words had never been Emily’s forte – heartfelt speeches even less so. The result was bottling thoughts and feelings up until they manifested in ways that were neither productive nor efficient, and never fully eroded the thoughts and feelings. A thousand times she had contemplated laying her heart out there on the line simply so she could relieve herself of the emotions which haunted her. And a thousand times Emily looked into shining blue eyes unable to vocalize what was boiling under her surface.

For as fearless a person as she was, Emily felt a chill of terror at even the thought of professing her long-felt love to the person she considered her best friend.

A vibration in her back pocket broke Emily from her reverie. She slid her phone out and pressed “Answer” without even bothering to look who was calling. “This is Prentiss.”

“Emily,” Tara’s voice on the other end said, “I’m sorry to bother you while you’re at the hospital.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Emily assured her.

“No update yet?” Tara asked, correctly interpreting Emily’s short response as constant concern.

“Not yet,” Emily sighed. “I’m trying to adopt the idea that no news is good news but…”

“Easier said than done, I totally get it. Keep us posted.” Tara paused before adding, “Ah, there’s something else I need to tell you.”

“What happened?”

“The ballistics on the gun used to…well, we got the report back,” Tara said in a tense voice.

“And?”

“And we think Grace was the one who fired it.”

“What?” Emily asked, incredulous. 

“Ballistics match the gun we saw being taken from the Marshall on surveillance,” Tara explained further. “The one Grace had.”

Emily ran a hand through her hair as she processed the development. “So, Grace has progressed past the point of just being a pawn in Lynch’s big game.”

“Yeah,” Tara agreed, “it appears all this time she’s been growing some nerve of her own and is beginning to act on it.”

“That does not bode well for this case.”

“It doesn’t. And local PDs keep complaining Lynch is the perfect unsub, which also isn’t helping,” Tara said. Her voice softened when she continued, “But, Emily, we’ve gone up against the – for lack of a better term – best before, and we’ve come out on top. We’ll do it again this time. We’ll get him.” 

Emily felt heartened by the conviction and a small smile played on her lips. “You’re right,” she said. “We’ll get him.” 

“Damn right we will,” Tara responded and Emily could tell she was smiling, too. “I’ll let you go, I just wanted to keep you in the loop. We’re going to continue canvassing to see what else we can find.”  
“Thank you, Tara, I appreciate it. Everything.”

There was another pause before Tara said, “She’ll pull through, you know that, right? I know you two are…I just, I can only imagine how you’re feeling right now, so just know that I’m here if you need to talk or vent or punch something. I’m really good at holding punching bags steady.”

“I might just take you up on that offer, so be warned,” Emily replied, and Tara chuckled.

“I’ll be here if you do. Just remember: the situation’s tough, but JJ is tougher. She’ll come back to you.”

Tara hung up before Emily could say anything in return, and there was something in the words, or maybe how Tara said them, that sent Emily’s heart and mind into overdrive. Just how perceptive was Tara? She couldn’t possibly know, could she? Emily had harnessed every ounce of self-control into not giving anybody any kind of indication of how she felt. 

She’d been turning over Tara’s words in her mind for all of two minutes when Will came hurrying into the waiting room. Emily shot up from the chair the instant she saw him and made note of the grin on his face.

“She’s awake,” Will said through a shaky laugh. He grabbed both of Emily’s arms in his excitement. “She’s alive and she’s awake and she’s,” he hesitated, “asking for you.” 

Emily felt her heart grow ten sizes in the matter of a second but managed to keep her voice under control. “She is?”

“Yeah,” Will replied, and Emily thought she saw a flash of some other emotion, anger perhaps, across his face, though it was gone just as quickly. “She wants to see you. I’m going to pick up the boys from home. I’ll be back in a little while.” Emily watched him stride out of the room and towards the elevators.

She took a deep, steadying breath before starting towards JJ’s room. Emily ran through a list of potential greetings and exclamations, but by the time she’d reached her destination she was no closer to selecting one.

JJ was lying on the hospital bed, dark circles under her eyes. She looked exhausted and perfect. 

“Hey,” JJ said in a hoarse voice. She sat up straighter and grimaced in pain, but the sigh of relief when her eyes met Emily’s didn’t go unnoticed by the latter.

“I thought you were dead.” 

Emily flinched as she realized the words escaped her mouth. They had been at the forefront of her mind from the second she got the call about JJ, and they came out weak, brimming with pain.

“I was,” JJ stated, her lips pulled up in a smile. “Medically speaking, that is. And only for a few seconds. My heart stopped, so, you know, that counts as being dead.”

“That’s not funny,” Emily said; tears were beginning to fill her eyes and she willed them away. 

“Come on, that was definitely a good one. I’m not talking to you again until you smile and admit it.”

Emily stared at JJ without saying anything. A rush of relief and a wave of gratitude flooded through her that were so overwhelming they forced the tears Emily was trying so hard to hold back to stream down her face.

When JJ saw it, she immediately fell serious. “Hey, I was just kidding. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have—”

“No, no,” Emily waved her off with a shake of her head. “Do not apologize. I’m just…” She struggled with how to best encapsulate her feelings, then settled for the simplest way, “really glad you’re alive.” She wiped at her eyes with her sleeve and sat down in the chair beside the bed, reaching for JJ’s left hand in the process. 

“I’m glad I’m alive, too,” JJ answered. She gave Emily a reassuring squeeze and threw a smile at her. “It’s going to take more than a little bullet to get rid of me.”

“Yeah,” Emily concurred, “I should’ve known that.” 

“Thank you for being concerned,” JJ murmured. 

Emily took in every inch of JJ’s face, once again vowing to commit it all to memory. It was not something she could live with knowing she had forgotten the creases around blue eyes or the faint scar above an eyebrow from a car accident years ago.

“Do you know how badly the world would suck without you?” Emily eventually inquired. She wasn’t sure if JJ knew just how pivotal her existence was to making the universe run smoothly. 

“The sun will rise and set whether I’m around to see it or not,” JJ countered. Her tone was joking, but Emily knew, deep down, it came from a place of sincerity.

“Maybe. But I know 7 people plus your family who would all admit it does so much more happily knowing you’re around.”

“I guess I can hang out for a couple more decades.”

“Good. Besides, you can’t leave me, Garcia, and Tara behind. We’d be outnumbered, and we cannot, under any circumstances, let the male species win in any way, shape, or form.”

A comfortable silence drifted over them for a few minutes. Emily stared at their intertwined hands and thought about everything they had survived. Regardless of what it was, she and JJ had gotten through, and had done so together. 

“I couldn’t remember the last thing I said to you.”

The admission was abrupt, and even JJ looked surprised she had said it. She’d been staring intently at the ceiling, but turned her head to look at Emily with an intense gaze.

“I’m sorry?” Emily answered. 

JJ took a moment to gather her thoughts before continuing. “I was lying on the ground of that godforsaken parking garage. There was blood – my blood – everywhere and I really, truly thought I was going to die.” Emily instinctively inched the chair closer as JJ’s grip on her hand grew tighter. “Everything was blurry. It was so hard to breathe.”

“But…” Emily prompted, noting the look on JJ’s face that said she had more to say.

“But,” JJ picked up, “there, as any fight I had left started to disappear, all I thought about was that I couldn’t remember our last conversation. I’m sure it had something to do with the case and not anything earth shattering, but in that moment it’s all I cared about. I didn’t want to go without remembering.” 

A spark originating at joined hands roared through Emily’s arm and raged to every part of her being. She tried not to read too much into the sentiment but couldn’t help thinking it was significant in her and JJ’s dynamic.

Emily cleared her throat. “‘Keep an eye out. Be safe.’”

“What?” JJ’s eyebrows knit together in confusion.

“Our last conversation,” Emily clarified. “That’s what I said to you. You were in the car with Reid. I told you to keep an eye out when you got to the US Attorney’s office. And to be safe.”

“Hmm,” JJ hummed thoughtfully, “I guess I didn’t do so well on either of those accounts.”

Despite the gravity of the situation, Emily let out a laugh. “You made it through. That’s what counts.”

JJ squeezed her hand again, and Emily’s heart soared. She thought of everything she had ever wanted to say to the woman lying before her. And while she was tempted get everything off her chest then and there, Emily figured a hospital room probably wasn’t the best place to do it – especially with Will and the boys on their way back.

Emily took comfort in sitting beside JJ, holding her hand as though they were each other’s anchors in life. They had developed a safe haven together, a place that had seen the best and worst of the women. It was the only place Emily could be her true self, and it was because of JJ it was even possible in the first place. She basked in the glory of that sanctuary and realized what she had right then was enough. For now.


	2. 50

"Stop, please. I’m begging you. I will do anything or tell you anything you want…just stop.”

Emily doubled over and clutched her side. Her breath came out in small, sharp spurts and she felt like she was edging near passing out. She reached in front of her to grasp at air, as if she was searching for a support beam that didn’t exist.

JJ, a few yards ahead, paused and looked back. She retraced her steps until she was in front of Emily, putting her hands on her hips. “Will you quit being so dramatic?”

“No,” Emily huffed. “Not until you put an end to this.”

“Emily, it’s exercise.”

“I think the word you’re looking for is ‘torture.’”

With a roll of her eyes, JJ tried tugging on Emily’s arm to get her to move forward, but Emily didn’t budge. Instead, she twisted out of JJ’s grip and collapsed on the grass beside the path the two had been running on. It gave way to an enormous field which, at the far away end, lead to the parking lot.

“Don’t you think you’re exaggerating maybe just a little bit?” JJ asked.

“Leave me here to die,” Emily said theatrically. She threw her arms out to make it look like she was about to create a snow angel. “And if that doesn’t happen, I’ll drag myself back to the car.”

“I’m not leaving you anywhere to do anything.” JJ moved to Emily’s side and looked down at her.

“God, I feel like we’ve been running for years. How far have we gone?” 

“We’d just passed a mile when you decided to embrace your flair for melodrama.”

“A mile?” Emily almost yelled. “That’s it?” Her eyes closed and she let out a loud groan of disgruntlement. “This is the worst thing in my life, and that’s saying a lot considering I’ve been stabbed.”

“People are staring,” JJ observed. A few fellow joggers had passed by and threw confused glances at the women. In an attempt to convey to them everything was perfectly fine, JJ gave a tense smile in response.

“Good. Maybe they’ll see you’re making me do this cruel and unusual activity and call the authorities.”

The grass on Emily’s right stirred; she opened one eye as JJ sat down, arms wrapped around her legs.

“I can’t believe this,” she muttered.

“See?” Emily said as she sat up to match JJ’s posture. “You’re sitting down on the ground because you hate running too.”

“I’m on the ground because you’re on the ground,” JJ corrected. She tilted her head and rested it on a knee, gazing at Emily intently.

A strand of hair had come loose from JJ’s ponytail; Emily reached out and tucked it behind JJ’s ear, smiling as she did so.

“I don’t remember that contract I signed when we started dating saying anything about going for a run on our very few days off.”

“Haven’t you learned by now that reading the fine print is a must?” JJ questioned. “That’s where they get you.”

“I will remember that for next time,” Emily vowed.

“And by the way, I didn’t force you to come with me. You agreed when I asked.”

“Oh, don’t pull that!” Emily gave JJ a shove in the shoulder. “You knew I wouldn’t be able to say no.”

A small smile played on JJ’s lips. “Why, whatever do you mean?”

“You were giving me that face!” 

“What face?” JJ asked innocently.

“You know the face,” Emily insisted. “The one where my thoughts get all disoriented because you’re looking at me like I’m the only thing in the world. And I’d probably agree to murder when met with it because I can’t think properly.” As Emily was talking, an all-too-familiar expression had appeared. “You’re giving it to me right now!”

“Well,” JJ started in a tone of incredulity, “excuse me for looking at the woman I love in a loving way.” She grabbed Emily’s hand and held it between both of her own.

“I’m not saying I don’t like it.” Emily thought about something for a moment before adding, “Actually, if you wanted to look at me like that for the rest of our lives, I wouldn’t say no.”

“Think of all the things I could get you to agree to…”

“Okay, okay, we get it. You have me wrapped around your finger. I am a big enough person to admit that.” 

JJ grinned and slid closer to Emily, lying her chin on Emily’s shoulder while keeping hold of the hand. “If it’s any consolation, I’d never ask you to murder someone for me.”

“I know you wouldn’t,” Emily answered. “You wouldn’t want to burden me – or anyone, for that matter – with it, so you’d take it on by yourself.”

“I was thinking more that I wouldn’t want to be any way involved in a murder, but you make a valid point.”

JJ absentmindedly started stroking a finger across Emily’s knuckles. They sat in a comfortable silence for a few minutes, each of them lost in their own heads but thinking similar thoughts: a nameless, fleeting moment in their lives they wanted to etch in to their memories, there, just a few feet from the running path. There had been no passersby since the group of joggers, and the women felt as though the small space they took up in the grass was isolated from the rest of the world. 

“When did you know?” Emily asked into the quiet.

JJ’s reply was vague and distant, for she was still lost in her daydream. “Know what?”

“That you loved me.”

The comment pulled JJ from her musings and she opened and closed her mouth twice before speaking. “The second day I knew you.”

“What?” It had never occurred to Emily that JJ could have been harboring those feelings for such a long time, thus the revelation came as a surprise. 

“I’m sure it was technically the first day, the day we met, but I was too surprised we were already replacing Elle to realize what I was feeling towards you.” As blush started to creep into her cheeks, JJ was thankful Emily couldn’t see her face. She nuzzled into Emily’s shoulder, hopefully indicating she didn’t want to move any time soon.

“I didn’t know I was replacing anybody,” Emily stated, momentarily distracted by the idea. “I was just told there was an opening in the BAU.”

“You would’ve liked Elle,” JJ said thoughtfully.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. She was tough and brave and fearless. Like you.”

A wide grin stretched across Emily’s face. “You think I’m tough, brave, and fearless?” 

“I think you are the toughest, bravest, most fearless person I have ever known.” It was said with so much conviction that Emily had a difficult time believing she was the one on the receiving end of the compliment.

“Jennifer Jareau, you are much too kind to me.” Emily gave JJ’s hand a comfortable squeeze. “You never said anything, though. About your feelings. Why not?”

JJ pulled her head up and looked at Emily through narrowed eyes. “Are you just trying to distract me so I don’t make you get up and continue running?”

“What? No!” Emily scoffed. “I would never do such a thing.”

“Mhmm, sure.”

“We have been dating for nearly 10 months, and apparently have had feelings for each other for a lot longer than that. I’m just trying to figure out the logistics of everything.”

“The ‘logistics?’” One of JJ’s eyebrows raised in question, but she was smiling. 

“Just answer.” Emily poked JJ in the arm with the hand that wasn’t still intertwined with JJ’s.

“I was terrified to say anything,” JJ said simply. 

“Terrified,” Emily repeated.

“Yes. I’m serious when I say I knew how I felt about you on that second day. We’d been talking about protocols – lame, boring, old protocols – but it was like something shifted in the universe. Everything clicked into place, and I realized I had spent my entire life just wandering about, waiting for that moment. We could’ve talked about anything and I’m sure the same thing would have happened. It wasn’t the topic or the time or the place. It was…you.” JJ sighed and stared across the path into the trees beyond it.

“You couldn’t tell me this because…” Emily coaxed. JJ’s eyes found hers again.

“Because you were this amazing, talented, cultured person who could have her choice of whoever she wanted in life. I couldn’t hold a candle to it. You put everyone else in the room to shame.”

“I would’ve preferred you to burn the whole damn place down if we’re being honest. So long as you were the one still standing at the end of it all. You’re not giving yourself credit.”

JJ cocked her head to one side. “You grew up in multiple countries on multiple continents. I grew up in southwestern Pennsylvania.”

“I hear it’s…very nice there,” Emily forced out, which elicited a grin from JJ.

“It’s not, but I appreciate your valiant attempt. I should’ve told you; I know that. I was scared because I had never felt anything so thoroughly and intensely. I didn’t know what to do, and I definitely didn’t want to screw it up, so I shut it out.” JJ shrugged and shifted her gaze to Emily’s hand in her grip.

“I’m sorry you felt you couldn’t tell me.”

A humorless chuckle fell through JJ’s lips. “Please don’t apologize. It wasn’t your fault in the slightest. Will came along and he was, God this is awful to say, but he was convenient. He was – is – a great guy, and I liked him enough. A life with him was doable. Just not ideal. I wasn’t fair to anyone involved.”

“The thing is,” Emily said as she brushed her thumb across JJ’s cheek, “we don’t get a handbook when it comes to life. You did the best you could in the moment. No one can fault you for that.”

“I should’ve told you sooner,” JJ murmured.

“I should’ve told you sooner too,” Emily replied with a knowing smile.

“About that. When did you know?”

“Ah, I’ve got you beat, ma’am. I knew I loved you the very first time we met. I’d been wandering the halls outside the bullpen when you walked up and introduced yourself,” Emily recalled, silently noting it the best day of her life.

“That’s right.” JJ had started playing the memory in her mind. “I told you Hotch sent me to get you caught up on standard procedures. That was a lie, I might add.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

A mischievous glint shone in JJ’s eyes. “He hadn’t told me to do anything. I knew who you were, knew you were possibly going to be a new member of the team, and made the executive decision to get you started before it was official. Call it a gravitational pull towards you or maybe even destiny.”

“Huh,” Emily said as she processed the information. “Well, I don’t know how you did it, but I knew as soon as you said your name, I was going to want you in my life. You had this way about you that was inexplicably compatible with me. It made my world better, and filled some part of it I didn’t even know was missing.”

“I had not the slightest clue, do you know that?” JJ inquired. “Maybe I was oblivious, but I had no idea that’s what you were feeling.”

“I counted that as a win,” Emily confessed. “I poured so much into not letting anyone know how I felt. I didn’t want to screw things up either. I thought it would pass. Until about one week later when I realized I didn’t want it to pass.”

The type of soft smile only JJ could produce materialized on her face. “Me too. I never wanted my feelings to pass. No matter what happened. I thought as long as I feel this way about you, the world still makes sense. Which, I guess, doesn’t actually make sense, but we’ll save that for a different time.”

Emily ran her hand through her ponytail and let out a laugh. “Why the hell did it take us so long to reach this point?” She drummed her fingers on JJ’s knee to signal their closeness, their intimacy.

“Maybe because we have a job where at any given time we can only express about a quarter of the emotions we’re having?” JJ suggested. “It’s only natural it would find its way into our personal lives.”

“Ever think you might have been the genius all along?” Emily wondered after studying JJ’s face for a second.

“I think that every day.”

They stayed a little while longer, not talking, merely enjoying each other’s company. A few people jogged by and looked at the women sitting in the grass with confused expressions, but they waved to each other all the same. 

“Okay,” JJ eventually said, “I’d say we’ve spent plenty of time here in this small spot of this random field. Let’s go.” She stood up, brushed grass from her leggings, and reached an arm out to help Emily to her feet as well.

“That was nice while it lasted,” Emily sighed. “Really, JJ? I can’t believe this is how we’re spending our day off.”

“And what did you have in mind exactly?”

“You know…other things,” Emily said suggestively and wiggled her eyebrows to further allude to what she meant.

“We can still do other things,” JJ assured her, taking a step towards Emily. She put a finger under Emily’s chin to tilt it up and moved slowly, painstakingly until their lips were an inch apart. The air between them was electric, buzzing with desire.

“That sounds good,” Emily breathed. She went to wind her arms around JJ’s waist, but JJ ducked out of reach at the last second.

“We have to do those other things at home, though,” she said as she started walking backwards with a wicked grin in place. “I’m going to recommend you using that as incentive to get through this run.”

Emily shook her head in an attempt to clear her mind of the distractions which had settled there because of JJ’s actions. She followed after JJ, trying find the right string of words. “That was…”

“Me motivating you? It sure was,” JJ supplied. “We have the whole day in front of us. How badly do you want to do those other things?” 

“I cannot believe you just did that.” Nevertheless, it was a successful tactic. Emily’s pulse had quickened and she felt a surge of energy sprint through her body. A run throughout a park on a crisp autumn day had never seemed so appealing.

“Oh,” JJ said, as if she had just remembered something, “would now be a good time to mention I signed us up for a 5k race in January?” 

Before Emily had time to make any sense of the question, JJ turned on her heel and began jogging down the path again.

“Wait, what?” Emily asked only to herself at first. Then she called out, “JJ! JJ, wait! Are you serious? Please tell me you’re not serious!” Her shouts went unanswered and Emily found herself begrudgingly chasing JJ.

At least there were other things to look forward to.


	3. 12.

She could hear the usual sounds of the bullpen: pens scratching, hushed voices, scattered footsteps, and paper swooshing as it’s flipped in a folder. She could smell the cheap, crappy coffee which was always being brewed in the kitchenette. 

But when JJ opened her eyes, it was vacant and the silence was deafening. Nobody sat at their desk hastily reading a case file in preparation for a meeting in five minutes. Nobody scurried across the floor, back and forth between agents, passing messages and delivering notes. 

An empty room had never felt so sacred to JJ. She wanted to burn a picture of it into her mind’s eye so it was never forgotten, not even the smallest corners of it. 

She stared at the closed door of Hotch’s office. Inside there she had entered the ring – was dragged into the ring, she corrected herself – and lost the fight. It was supposed to be a safe space, a place in which you could actually feel your emotions without fear of consequence, but Strauss had done a fine job at taking that from JJ. 

“You know you were allowed to go home hours ago.”

JJ turned around at the familiar voice. Emily stood there dressed in jeans and a sweatshirt with a sad smile on her face.

“I know,” JJ told her. She glanced around the room before continuing, “But I can’t bring myself to do it. When I walk out those doors this time, I won’t be coming back tomorrow. Or the next day. It’s so…final.”

Emily nodded. “I can’t even imagine what you’re feeling. I’m sorry they’re doing this to you. I meant what I said earlier, though. They want you because you’re too good. You really are at the top of everyone’s list.”

A lump appeared in JJ’s throat and she ducked her head while she tried to keep tears from escaping. “Thank you,” she said in a thick voice. “I just wish they’d let me have a say in my own career, you know?”

“Stupid administrative workings. They’ll screw you over as many times as they need if it makes them look good. And you will most definitely make them look good.”

“Maybe I should sabotage myself so they realize they made a mistake in transferring me,” JJ commented thoughtfully. 

“Maybe you should,” Emily suggested.

JJ considered the option for a moment. A smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes was on her lips when she answered, “I’m not going to do that.”

“No, you’re not,” Emily said in agreement. “Because you’re Jennifer Jareau, the most stand-up person I have ever met, and you put everything into the job in front of you. This isn’t going to be any different.”

“Having a good work ethic is such a curse these days.” JJ’s smile grew, becoming more sincere.

“You’re going to kick ass no matter where you are,” Emily assured her. 

“Thank you,” JJ repeated. It was a nice sentiment by any standard, but it somehow meant more coming from the woman standing in front of her. “By the way, what are you doing here at—” she consulted her watch, “12:49 in the morning?”

“Oh, right,” Emily said as she strode to her desk, “I forgot my phone. I had half a mind to just leave it here until the morning, but I couldn’t sleep and figured I’d come grab it.” She pushed around some papers until she found it and picked up the device, sliding it into her pocket. “Besides, with my luck, we’d get a case tonight and I would miss all the texts and calls.”

“Can you imagine having to explain that to Hotch?” Just the thought sent a shudder through JJ.

“I’d rather not, which is part of the reason I forced myself to get up and come.”

The two women stood in the quiet, neither not yet ready to bid the farewell that would put immeasurable distance between them in more ways than one. 

Both JJ and Emily had first tiptoed along the cliff of falling in love with each other before jumping and taking the plunge all too willingly. If asked about when they knew what they were feeling, they would have responded in similar fashion: the very first time they met. 

Yet, almost four years later and not a word had been uttered between them about the concealed emotions.

JJ had been bombarded by a love so electric, so blazing when introduced to Emily for the first time she made an attempt to outrun it because of its novelty to her. It had been futile, though; every furtive glance she threw in Emily’s direction resulted in JJ wanting her more and more. Except, Emily lived a life of grandeur, and JJ thought herself pale in comparison. They were best friends before anything, that was JJ’s justification for not setting anything in motion. She settled for the age-old cop-out mindset of never having the love she desired was a hell of a lot better than getting it and screwing it up. 

Emily was thrown into an existential crisis upon meeting JJ. She had prided herself on her ability to keep her feelings locked up and buried away. Constructing strong enough walls to keep people out was a skill Emily had honed throughout years of dodging her mother’s judgement. But those walls were nonexistent when it came to JJ; they dissolved into nothing at her very presence. JJ was a shining light in the world and the pinnacle of all things good. The issue for Emily lied in her self-diagnosed tendency to ruin any good entity that came her way.

It led to a stalemate: each woman secretly, silently longing for the other but not doing anything about it. Now, standing in the bullpen with JJ’s transfer solidified and imminent, both she and Emily felt as if their feelings were amplified. Countless variations of professions and declarations buzzed at the tips of their tongues, but none forced their way out.

“Well, I guess I’ll—” Emily began.

“I should probably—” JJ said simultaneously.

“Sorry, sorry,” Emily apologized with a sheepish smile. “You go.”

“Oh, I was just going to say,” JJ picked up as she took a deep breath and then exhaled. Something shone in her eyes – something that hadn’t been there a second ago – and she grinned broadly. “What would you say to helping ourselves to some of the divine alcohol one David Rossi just so happens to be hiding in his office?”

The question caught Emily off guard. She had been expecting, and bracing herself for, another goodbye in addition to the one she and JJ had gone through earlier. A painful, heartbreaking goodbye; JJ’s alternative won by a landslide.

“I would say, lead the way.”

JJ did just that. She flicked on the lights as they passed through the door and stopped at the small table that was just inside the office, reaching her hand underneath it. As Emily collected two glasses from the shelf underneath one of the windows, a concealed drawer popped out from the side of the stand. A triumphant look sprang onto JJ, and she pulled out a bottle of whiskey.

“Ireland’s finest single malt.” 

“Huh,” Emily remarked, clearly impressed. “Nicely done. Not exactly what I would peg Rossi to have stored away in here.” She moved to sit in the chair behind Rossi’s desk and handed a glass to JJ, who claimed the seat on the other side.

“This one was given to him as a gift,” JJ answered while twisting the cap off and pouring. “I believe it was someone from his publishing company; they sent it to him as encouragement to get moving on his next book.”

“How do you know all of this? The secret drawer, now bribes sent to Rossi…”

“People tell me things,” JJ said with a shrug. All Emily could do in response was nod because it made sense.

They sat in silence for a few minutes, sipping the whiskey and letting the liquid send warm waves through their bodies. The lapse in speaking was comfortable for them – it always was. 

“What’s your favorite memory of this place?” Emily asked eventually. 

JJ leaned forward, drumming her fingers on the desk while she considered. “My first day.”

“Really?” Emily was both surprised and intrigued. She noticed the empty glasses and filled them up again. “Why’s that?”

“It was chaos. That was the initial time Reid failed his gun qualification. Morgan, in character, followed him around the bullpen carrying a water pistol; he said if Reid needed to protect himself in the field, all he had to do was squirt water in the unsub’s eyes and then run – hopefully Reid was faster than the person he was trying to get away from. In return, Hotch had to keep coming out of his office to stop Reid from catapulting objects across the room at least 7 times. He’d calculated it so that he could get even a stapler to hit Morgan square in the head.”

Emily imagined the scene in her head while JJ described it. “How the hell did he manage that?” she wondered out loud.

“God knows,” JJ replied, chuckling. “He built some contraption using rubber bands and pens and physics. And the whole time this was happening, Gideon was holed up in his office pouring over notes of a case they had solved the week before.”

“Where were you during all of the action?”

“Standing in the middle of the room trying to figure out if they were pulling some kind of joke or hazing initiative on me. The BAU was this renowned team who solve some of the biggest crimes, and I walked into that mess.” JJ sighed and appeared wistful. “That was one hell of an introduction to new coworkers.”

Emily placed her elbows on the desk and rested her head in a hand. “You stuck with it at least. They didn’t scare you off.”

“They didn’t,” JJ agreed. “Although Garcia almost did when she walked in holding a broken coffee cup, swearing to find out who did it and steal one item from their desk every day until there was hardly anything left. She had that wild glint in her eye that’s still kind of scary.”

“Ah, the Penelope-Garcia-wild-eye-glint,” Emily said through a laugh. “I can see how that would be rather unsettling on your first day.”

“Right?” JJ shook her head in disbelief. “In retrospect it’s entertaining, but I had no idea what to think at the time.”

The women hadn’t consumed enough alcohol to seriously inhibit their thought processes or their impulses, but it was loosening nerves that had been tightly wound for years. 

“What are you thinking about?” Emily inquired when she noticed a distant expression on JJ’s face. 

“How much I’m going to miss this place. We see some of the most gruesome things and meet some of the most horrible people, and I’m going to think about it every single day. How twisted is that?” JJ swirled her glass around, maybe searching for the answer to her question in its contents.

“It takes a special kind of person to do this job; you’re one of them. You’ve spent more time here than probably anywhere else in your lifetime. I don’t think missing it makes you twisted. I think it makes you dedicated.”

“We are seemingly always here, aren’t we?” JJ smiled briefly before turning pensive. “How do you do that?”

“Do what?” 

“Know what to say to a person. Know how to make them feel good and safe.”

“Pure, dumb luck,” Emily confessed. “Most of the time I’m just winging it and hoping it goes semi-well.” She tossed back her last sip of whiskey and reached for the bottle for more, adding to JJ’s glass as well.

“You’re good at it. Really good.” JJ was gazing at Emily as though something had just dawned on her. Emily quickly decided to change the subject to ignore how it made her feel.

“The thing you’re going to miss most?”

“Easy,” JJ answered instantly. “The people.”

“Aww,” Emily said, putting a hand to her heart to show how touched she was, “you’re going to miss us.”

“With everything in me. How am I going to get through the days without you all there to make me smile or laugh or just better my mood in general?”

“That is a tough one. But remember: no new friends.”

“No new friends,” JJ repeated in a firm tone. “I promise.”

They both glanced at their watches and noted the time. The goodbye wouldn’t be forever; it was the hectic schedules and odd work hours and time zones that would make it feel permanent.

“If I want any chance of making it back here on time in a few hours, I should probably head out.” The words were very obviously forced, but Emily remained firm. She stood up and pushed in the desk chair.

“Definitely,” JJ said, despite the word being insincere.

“You’re leaving me here to deal with the wrath of David Rossi when he discovers this bottle is empty. How am I supposed to explain it?” 

“We’ll fill it up with water. He won’t touch this bottle for 6 months at the earliest. He has fancier, more expensive stuff scattered around.”

“There’s a shock,” Emily muttered sarcastically. 

JJ collected the glasses and bottle and walked out of the office. Emily followed after, leaning on the railing outside and watching JJ enter the small kitchen. 

JJ returned a minute later, replacing the items right where they took them from without leaving a trace. After turning off the lights, she made her way back to Emily and mirrored the woman’s position.

“I knew one day I’d leave here for the very last time,” JJ began, “I just didn’t think it would happen so soon.”

“This place is going to suck without you.”

“My life is going to suck without it.”

“We’ll get through it, though, right?” Emily tried to keep the desperation out of her voice. “We’ll call each other and text and—”

“I love you.”

The words were said so quietly Emily wasn’t certain she’d heard correctly. JJ had murmured them like a revered phrase. Like releasing them into the world was a breath of fresh air she had been waiting eternities for.

“Well, yeah, JJ, I love you too,” Emily said, for she didn’t trust herself to say anything else at the moment. They’d been best friends for a long time, and had expressed the notion on numerous occasions.

“No,” JJ responded, turning to face Emily. “I love you.” Her eyes were blazing, and she said it more confidently. Something deeply entrenched in Emily’s heart became unlocked and she hesitated in answering.

“You’ve been drinking, and I—”

“Emily, I’m not drunk.” She looked like she was steeling herself for what she was about to say. “I love you. I’m in love with you. And I have been in love with you from the moment we met. I know it’s not fair. It’s not fair of me to feel this way when Will is still in the picture, and it’s certainly not fair of me to tell you this when, after tonight, I honestly do not know when I’ll be able to see you again.”

It took Emily a few seconds for the information to process and for her brain to find the right connection to her mouth. “Why then? Why are you telling me now?”

“Because in all the years I’ve known you, you’ve always been there. Every time. No matter the day or the circumstances, you always showed up. Made me feel safe and like we actually stand a chance at holding on to the good in the world.” A dam had broken in JJ and the words flooded out with fervor. “I thought we had forever – or, at least until we grew old and were forced to retire from this job. I told myself I would tell you how I really feel one day, because I thought we had nothing but time. But we don’t. We have tonight. After that…I don’t know. What I do know is that if I had left here without saying all of this to you, I would’ve lost my mind.”

JJ’s face was flushed and she was tugging on the ends of her shirt. Emily pulled the sleeves of her own sweatshirt over her hands in a self-conscious manner. She didn’t want to disclose the effect JJ’s admission had on her.

“I don’t…” Emily started, but her voice was hoarse so she cleared her throat before continuing, “I don’t really know what to do with that information.” She realized it was a lame thing to say; she just couldn’t quite put into words what was at the front of her mind.

“You don’t have to do anything,” JJ said breathlessly. “It wasn’t fair of me, it isn’t fair of me, I know that. But it’s true. And now that I’ve said it aloud, I will never, not for a second, regret telling you.”

“I’d probably be pissed off if I didn’t love you too.”

It was the best Emily could do to sum up what she was thinking. It was far from eloquent, and she had much more to say, but it was accurate.

JJ went to respond before snapping her mouth shut, apparently rendered speechless.

“Scratch that,” Emily corrected herself. “I could never be pissed at you, so I’m retracting part of my original statement. But I do. Love you, I mean. That portion has always been true.” Emily was no stranger to near-death experiences and adrenaline rushes, but declaring her heart’s deepest desires provided exhilaration that was unlike anything she had ever felt. She wanted to climb to the tallest building and scream it at the top of her lungs – screw clichés to hell. 

“You do?” JJ asked, trying to keep her tone steady.

“Are you kidding? JJ, of course I do! All you had to do was walk into Hotch’s office on a Monday morning which happened to be my first day, and my life suddenly made sense. I’ve wanted to tell you every day since then, but could never bring myself to do it.” Emily reached out her hand and grabbed JJ’s, who accepted it happily.

“God, me too,” JJ sighed. “I didn’t want to ruin it. And, you know, maybe I did by picking tonight of all nights to tell you, but—”

“JJ, you didn’t ruin it. Tonight is just as good as any other one.”

“You’re right,” JJ said with a nod. “I’m sorry for being dramatic. I finally found the nerve to actually say something and wanted to act on it while I had the chance.”

They had never been strangers to each other. From the instant their lives intersected, JJ and Emily knew they would wind up together. It had never been a question of “If;” it had always been one of “When.”

“Okay, so now what?” Emily inquired after realizing they were merely standing there holding hands. “Not that I have anything wrong with this,” she said and swung their arms back and forth to indicate what she meant.

“We figure it out,” JJ responded with conviction. A second later, her voice turned flustered. “I have…so much to figure out. I have to talk to Will, and there’s my transfer to consider…”

Emily could tell JJ was embarking on a journey that ended with her losing her cool, which only typically happened in extreme conditions. “Hey, it’s okay,” she said softly. “Look at me.” When JJ’s eyes found hers, Emily continued, “It’s okay. Like you said, we figure it out. We always do, and this time will be no different.”

JJ took a deep, steadying breath. “Sorry, I’m back. Okay. It’s you and me. We always make it through. It’s us.”

“That’s my girl,” Emily replied through a grin. She pulled JJ into a hug, holding on to her tightly. “Also, the whole, ‘It’s us’ thing sounds so much better now that we got all the affirmations out of the way.”

“Good. I’ll start saying it more often,” JJ said as she buried her head into Emily’s shoulder. “Have I mentioned I love you?”

Emily scoffed. “Not nearly enough. We have four years’ worth to make up for in that department.”

“I love you,” JJ whispered.

“Weird,” Emily remarked. “I love you.”

How simple three little words can be after years of trying to pretend they don’t exist.


	4. 3.

JJ trudged up the steps with heavy feet. Her entire body ached from a wound that would probably never heal completely. It tore through her and dug into her bones so deeply it wouldn’t see the day again. No matter how hard JJ tried to cleanse herself of it.

The front light was still on, which would normally bring JJ a sense of serenity: it meant she was home. In a safe haven where the monsters couldn’t get her. But this monster knew no boundaries; it didn’t care if she was on a plane thousands of feet in the air or seeking refuge on her stoop.

As JJ reached for the doorknob, she realized she couldn’t turn it. Partially because she didn’t want to, and partially because something in her froze, telling her not to. 

Will was on the other side of the door; he would be able to tell something was wrong with JJ the moment he laid eyes on her and then plunge into the questions regarding what happened and how he could help. It was one of Will’s best qualities, that concern he felt towards other people. 

JJ felt a pang in her chest. Will could have offered up the best advice in the world, and it wouldn’t matter. It wasn’t his fault he failed to be the person JJ wanted to open up to. It wasn’t his fault he wouldn’t – couldn’t – understand no matter how much he applied himself. 

She knew she had to talk about the case. Her mind was racing because of it and wouldn’t quiet down until she sifted through some of her thoughts. The man sitting up in bed, reading as he waited for JJ to return to him, should be the person to whom JJ had the scorching desire to show her heart. Except, of course, he wasn’t. 

The blame lied in thoughts and feelings JJ labeled as nonexistent, although they were anything but. She’d given her heart away almost a decade ago and had never gotten it back. Not the pieces that mattered most anyway. They rested in the unknowing hands of someone an ocean away. 

For reasons not yet ready to be admitted aloud, JJ dropped her arm and sat on the steps. She gazed up at the few visible stars suspended in the dark, velvet sky. The vastness of it should have made JJ’s problems feel smaller, less significant. At least, that’s what she told herself. Instead, JJ felt lonelier than she had in a long time.

Blazing, hungry flames. Locks that wouldn’t give. Bolt cutters that arrived too late. Berto and Francesca’s desperate pleas for JJ to help them, save them. The explosion which, although it didn’t touch JJ, ripped a hole through her heart.

A jolt of pain shot up JJ’s arm and she inhaled sharply. The solitude she felt caused her to slip into remembering Los Angeles, and she had unconsciously made a fist with her burned hand. She straightened out her fingers with careful precision, as if that one motion was what was holding her together.

Without thinking, JJ reached for her phone in the side pocket of her bag. She chewed on a thumbnail while scrolling through her contacts until finding the right one. It was a number that, recently, hadn’t been given as much attention as it deserved mostly because of hectic work schedules.

JJ ran a hand through her hair before pressing the Call button. Time zones placed the recipient’s local time at 3am, and JJ didn’t expect any answer. She would leave a voicemail, briefly explaining that she didn’t really know why she was calling or what she truly wanted to say with the message. It would turn into a ramble, but JJ was unbothered by that; her point would get across because that’s how they worked.

“JJ?” The voice was laced with concern, and JJ suddenly became overwhelmed with emotion.

“Emily,” she breathed. Just saying her name felt like a breath of fresh air. “I’m sorry for calling you this late—”

“It’s three o’clock in the morning.”

“I know. I didn’t think you’d—”

“No, JJ,” Emily said in a tone that made it obvious she was smiling, “it’s three o’clock in the morning. Did you honestly think I’d be asleep? You know how bad I am at sleeping during the recommended hours.”

JJ grinned, already more at ease. “I figured that change of scenery you got would help fix your internal clock. It’s been years.”

“Hardly,” Emily snorted. Her manner then returned to worry. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

The reason JJ had called Emily crashed down on her again. The opening seconds of their conversation provided a reprieve for JJ: she had been able to think about something else for the first time in nearly 14 hours. Now, though, she felt the aching in new waves.

“I…yeah, I’m fine,” JJ answered the question. “The case we just finished up on. It was…bad. It was a bad one.”

Insecurity would have prevented JJ from saying the words to anyone else. There was no such thing as a “good” case. They varied from bad to horrific to downright gruesome, so the statement “It was a bad one” wouldn’t hold much weight with most people. 

Emily wasn’t most people.

“Do you want to talk about it?” she asked gently.

“Not all of it,” JJ began, and she tried to keep her voice steady, “I don’t need to relive the whole thing.”

“Okay,” Emily said, sounding reasonable, “then let’s focus on the specifics that are bothering you most.”

“Kids, Emily. It was kids.”

There was a pause on the other end of the line, and JJ heard a long, slow exhale.

“Oh, JJ…”

“Two of them to start with,” JJ elaborated. “Well, four, if you include the other two victims from a couple of years ago. Another girl was taken after we landed. Francesca. In broad daylight. She was sixteen.”

“And what exactly was happening to the kids?” Emily knew the inquiry held the potential to deepen JJ’s anguish, so she posed it as delicately as she could.

“They were being burned. Then just left there.”

“Jesus.”

“He wasn’t a big help with this one.” JJ let out a laugh that held anything but humor. “How does a sixteen-year-old girl get taken in the middle of the day? It’s Los Angeles, for god’s sake! The amount of people who must have been somewhere near her when it happened, and no one saw a thing? How is that even possible—”

“JJ,” Emily interrupted, “stop. Take a breath. Whatever happened, it’s not your fault, okay?” She sensed JJ was going to try to argue with the point and went on, “Any argument you have with that idea is invalid. It’s not your fault.” 

“I know,” JJ sighed. Emily had been right to stop her spiraling thoughts, and JJ was silently grateful for the action. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize,” Emily told her. “Never apologize for what you’re feeling.”

“I don’t even know what I’m feeling. Everything’s all over the place.”

“That’s okay too. So, Francesca, you said her name was? I presume you guys put out an Amber alert.”

“We did,” JJ confirmed. “Nothing came of it. Local PDs canvassed, we interviewed her mom and little brother. Everything was a dead-end.”

The farther they got into the recollection, the more JJ wanted to retreat into herself and get lost in the stars overhead. But she needed to understand the nature of her wound; moreover, she needed someone else to understand it alongside her. 

“They sent you to do that part?” Emily delivered it in question-form, but JJ could tell she already knew the answer.

“How’d you know?”

“You’re the best at it,” Emily said, as though it were the most obvious fact in the world. “You have that way about you. You can just naturally make anyone you’re talking to feel safe and at ease. I think it’s your eyes.”

JJ smiled in spite of her current mindset. “What an unexpected compliment.” 

“I do enjoy being the element of surprise in any given situation.”

There was a lull in the conversation as Emily patiently waited for JJ to continue. She didn’t want to push or pry too far.

“We’d just left Francesca’s house when the rest of the team called,” JJ said after a minute. “They told us to bring Berto – her younger brother – to the precinct in case he was another target for the unsub.”

This pause was heavy and foreboding; it weighed on both women, despite the distance between them. They were connected by an invisible force that clued them in on each other’s temperaments.

“JJ?” Emily asked quietly.

“15 minutes.”

“I’m sorry?”

“We were gone 15 minutes by the time we got back to Francesca’s house.” JJ clenched her teeth as she felt the tears starting to well up. “Renee was knocked out. Berto was gone.”

Emily picked up on what JJ was insinuating. “There was no way you could have known. If you had any indication you would’ve done whatever it took to stop that from happening.”

“Emily.”

“I know. It doesn’t make you feel any better.”

“Another Amber alert. More dead-ends,” JJ said in a monotone.

“Until?” Emily coaxed.

“Until our profile matched a local guy.” JJ took a deep, steadying breath. “Long story short, Garcia tracked him to a warehouse downtown. When Luke and I arrived, it was…” She trailed off, shivering as she remembered.

“You ran into a burning building.” It wasn’t a question, and Emily’s voice was tinged with what JJ thought might be anger.

“Don’t be mad.”

“I’m not mad. I wouldn’t expect anything else from you, JJ. I’m just not a big fan of imagining you in that particular scenario.”

“I get it,” JJ told her, and she did; the thought of the roles being reversed was enough to make JJ’s heart ache even more. “We found the unsub inside. Along with Francesca, Berto, and the unsub’s sister.”

“His sister?”

“We determined she was the intended target all along. He sprinted as soon as he saw us, but I sent Luke after him. The other three were chained down.”

The memory of it was so vivid JJ felt like she was actually experiencing it all over again. She could feel the heat of the flames on her skin, could smell the smoke as it filled the room. 

Emily cleared her throat to regain JJ’s attention. “Whatever you’re about to tell me, I know with full certainty you did the right thing.”

“I made a choice, Emily.” The tears were readily rolling down JJ’s cheeks and this time she didn’t force them to stop. “I went to Berto first. They were both yelling out to me, and I saved him first. Do you know why?”

“Why?” 

“Because he reminded me of Henry. He’s funny and shy and likes Silver Surfer.”

“JJ,” Emily started in what she hoped was a rational way, “you couldn’t get to them all at once. That choice you made was necessary.”

“I shouldn’t have sent Luke after the guy,” JJ countered. “I should’ve been quicker with getting Berto out of there.”

“JJ—”

“The building blew up. It…exploded, and Francesca was still in there. Berto got out, the unsub’s sister got out, Luke dragged me out. But I didn’t get to her.” JJ stared at her bandaged hand: the visible, unwanted souvenir from a case that would haunt her for the foreseeable future. “I couldn’t save her.” The last words were whispered, forced out because JJ didn’t want to face the reality of them: she had failed at her job.

“Hey,” Emily’s soft voice cut through JJ’s self-doubts, “listen to me. This is not your fault. This is no one’s fault but the unsub’s, okay?”

“If I had just—”

“If you had just what, JJ?” Emily interrupted. “Told Luke to stay and help you? Then there would be a pyromaniac loose on the streets, destined to hurt more people. You cannot focus on the what-ifs. You’ll lose your mind if you do.”

“We did everything right,” JJ said, looking up to the sky for validation. “We sent uniforms where they were needed, we asked the right questions, we found the guy. We did everything right and we still lost.”

“Except you didn’t,” Emily reminded her. “You saved two people’s lives. That’s not nothing. In fact, most would say that’s everything.”

JJ took a moment to deliberate the sentiment. “You’re right,” she said. “I know you’re right. I just can’t help but think about what could have happened if I made a different decision.” 

“I get it, I do,” Emily said kindly. “I can only imagine what you’re feeling, but I know that what you did was heroic. And I know you made the right call.” She stopped briefly so JJ could feel the impact of the notion. “Have you considered that a different decision could have resulted in something worse? You could’ve lost all of the victims; you could have been caught in the explosion and killed.”

“I guess,” JJ muttered as she heaved a sigh.

“Jennifer Jareau, the world is a better place with you in it. Never forget that, okay? Your kindness, your empathy, your dedication to people? Everyone who knows you would be lost without them. You helped catch a criminal, then ran into a burning building and saved two people’s lives. You are a rockstar.” Emily finished with such fervor and certainty another smile broke out across JJ’s face.

Of all the human beings in the world, Emily Prentiss was, and always would be, the person JJ wanted to talk to after a particularly bad case. She accepted the pains and pressures of the job and knew the truth of things was very often the harshest part. Emily knew JJ, but more than that, Emily understood JJ. The two always had an unstated, unwritten perception of each other, regardless of time or place. 

“Thank you,” JJ murmured. She had much more to say, but couldn’t find the accurate words, so she settled for, “I knew calling you was a good idea.”

“I’m glad you thought to call.”

“Even if it’s 3 o’clock in the morning there?”

“Especially if it’s 3 o’clock in the morning.” Emily laughed.

JJ’s grip on her phone tightened as she realized just how much she wished Emily was right next to her, sitting on the front steps and looking at the night sky.

“I miss you,” she said to the stars, then cursed inwardly at the recognition she spoke aloud.

“I miss you too,” came the reply without hesitation or missing a beat. 

“Things are better when you’re here,” JJ mused. She adopted Emily’s complimentary tone from a short while ago. “I feel better, safer whenever you walk into a room. Like our chances of solving a case or catching the bad guy skyrocket. You’re really good at reminding people that, yes, we see terrible things, and, yes, bad people are out there, but goodness still exists. And it’s worth striving for.”

It was the closest JJ had ever gotten to saying the three words she’d been trying to ignore for years. The two ideas weren’t equivalent, she knew that, but it was the best she could do in the moment. 

“Thank you,” Emily answered, seeming somewhat breathless. “That means a lot.”

“Although, I’m sure Interpol is treating you well. You’ve been with them for a while now, so you probably have a big, fancy office with an amazing view of the city.”

“It’s not that big. But it’s definitely fancy with a gorgeous view. I even have a secretary who brings me coffee every morning.”

JJ whistled to indicate how impressed she was. “Should I be referring to you as ‘Ma’am,’ or would you prefer ‘Captain?’”

“It’s Wednesday, right? Ah, it’s a ‘Commander’ day, if you’d please.”

“Aye, aye Commander Prentiss.”

They settled into silence for a few moments, both women aware their time talking was drawing to a close and neither one actually wanting that to happen.

“Hey,” JJ began, “thank you.”

“For what?” Emily asked, sounding confused. “You already said that.”

“For everything. For letting me ramble to you and knowing what to say to make me feel better. For genuinely understanding me and not thinking me a failure. And mostly, for picking up the phone at 3am.”

“You should know I’d pick up the phone for you at any time of the day.”

JJ felt her heart soar and tried to ignore the tingling sensation that was spreading across her skin.

“I’ll call at 4 o’clock next time.”

“Also,” Emily went on, “you are in no way a failure. You’re a hero. I’m sorry this case was so hard for you.”

“It happens,” JJ reasoned halfheartedly.

“Yeah, but…some are worse than others. It’s okay to admit that.”

Another pause.

“I should let you go,” JJ made herself say.

“Yeah,” Emily dragged out the word. “But before that, do you want me to make all of your biggest hopes and dreams come true?”

“I would love that.”

“Rumor has it Hotch has been tapped for special assignment. One that’ll keep him away for a while. It seems they’re looking for someone to fill his seat at the briefing table when he’s gone and…” She faltered in an attempt to build suspense.

“Emily Prentiss, if you don’t finish that sentence—”

“I land on Sunday night. I’ll see you Monday morning.”

JJ fought the urge to let out a shout of excitement into the night. She didn’t want to wake the neighbors or alert Will to her presence.

“Why the hell didn’t you lead with that?” JJ exclaimed. 

“I think we had other items on the agenda that were a little more important, wouldn’t you say?”

It had been months since the case in New York that had brought JJ and Emily together. The former was left yet again wondering why she couldn’t find it within herself to admit the feelings she had for so long. They’d started their upward swing after just a few conversations with Emily just about ten years ago, and had known nothing but growth since then.

Multiple times in New York JJ had come close to simply uttering her emotions in the spur of the moment. No build-up, no time to think about it. She had managed to stop each time. When Emily went back to London – again – JJ’s heart went with her. Again. The days turned into nights with JJ missing Emily more than ever. Life went on slowly and excruciatingly.

Nevertheless, this development had a world of possibilities come with it. JJ didn’t want to think too much into the circumstances. She’d get there at a later point. For the time being, knowing Emily was coming back, however briefly, was enough. 

“Sure, sure,” JJ said. “But this is huge news.”

“I’m glad you think so.”

“I can’t believe you were keeping this from me.”

“I wasn’t keeping it from you!” Emily was on the defense. “I was going to walk in and surprise you next week. It’s been a bitch not telling you before tonight, but I was banking on your shocked face making it worth it.”

“If you’d like, I can still act shocked when you come in on Monday,” JJ suggested. 

“Such a nice offer. I’ll keep you posted.”

There was an unspoken agreement that they had reached the end of their conversation. This time only for a few days at least.

“Okay, really, I’ll let you go now,” JJ said in a soft voice.

“Are you going to be okay?” It was a question JJ had been asked numerous times, but it didn’t mean nearly as much as it did coming from Emily.

JJ stared at the hand covered in bandages. It still hurt, as did her heart from everything that had transpired, but the pain was now dulling, creeping quietly away.

“Yeah,” she responded, and she meant it. “I’ll be okay. Thank you. Again.”

“You know I’m always here if you need or want to talk, right?”

“I do,” JJ confirmed. “That’s why I—” She swallowed the declaration that was about to escape and tried again. “That’s why you’re the best.”

“You too,” Emily said with full sincerity. “The best of the best.”

“I’ll see you Monday?”

“I will see you Monday.”

JJ had never heard a string of such trivial words sound so wonderful.

“Oh, JJ?” Emily wondered suddenly.

“Yeah?”

“Who’s this Luke you were talking about?”

JJ grinned broadly. “You’ll meet him when you finally grace us with your presence.”


	5. 28.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one was fun :D

“What do you mean your mother is coming?” Emily was careful to shut her office door quietly so she didn’t catch anyone’s attention.

JJ had already picked up pacing around the room, wringing her hands together. “What do you mean what do I mean? My mother is coming. Here.” 

“Why?” The horror in Emily’s voice proved prominent. She cleared her throat and tried to keep her tone neutral. “It’s great…just…why?”

“A pipe burst and now her living room is flooded,” JJ said without breaking stride. “She doesn’t have anywhere else to go.”

Emily leaned against the wall as she tried to come to terms with the news. “She doesn’t have anywhere to stay while here either. Will is in Florida with the boys, and your house is getting painted.”

“I told her that. She suggested we rent a hotel room.”

“‘We?’”

“She wants me to stay with her.”

“And did you tell her you have other living arrangements in order? You know, since you’re staying at my place until the painters are done?” 

JJ picked up her pacing speed. “I did not tell her that. I didn’t really say much of anything. It was just a lot of rambling and mumbling but she somehow took it as acquiescence. I’m sorry, Emily. I know I should have told her. I wanted to tell her, I just—”

Emily moved towards JJ and grabbed her gently by the shoulders. “You are going to wear a hole through this floor, and I’m pretty sure our budget will not cover that. Come on.” She steered JJ into one of the chairs, then sat on the edge of the desk facing her.

“I’m sorry,” JJ repeated with a distraught look on her face. “I didn’t expect her to suggest it and didn’t have time to think.”

“Hey, hey,” Emily started, “it’s okay. Mothers have that tendency to be rather overwhelming, don’t they?”

“Yeah, they really do.”

“We’ll get through this. We always do.”

A sigh escaped JJ’s lips as she put her head in her hands. “I’m going to tell her.” The words came out muffled.

“What was that?” Emily poked JJ in the shin with the toe of her shoe.

“I’m going to tell her,” JJ said resolutely. “About us.”

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to. You know that.”

“I want to. We’ve been dating for a year; it’s way past time she knew.”

“How do you think she’ll take it?” Emily wondered somewhat hesitantly.

JJ ran her hands through her hair, contemplating the answer. “Honestly? I have no idea. She’s my mom, so it’ll be fine, right? Once she meets you and talks to you, I’m sure she’ll be charmed.” She noticed the expression on Emily’s face. “What is it?”

Emily drummed her fingers on the desk as she thought about how to construct her answer. “My history with meeting mothers does not reflect well on me,” she explained after a minute. 

“I’m sorry?” JJ’s brow knit together in confusion.

“They always seem to think I’m a bad influence and don’t think I’m fit for a long-term relationship.” 

JJ let out a snicker but transformed it into a cough when she realized Emily was being serious. “Oh, come on…I’m sure you’ve left your teenage antics far behind you.” 

“Don’t count on it,” Emily muttered. She considered JJ’s statement for another second before adding, “Actually, maybe you’re right. I’ve definitely made progress. You would never have even spoken to me in high school.”

“You don’t know that!” JJ proclaimed.

“Except, dear JJ, I do know that. Our paths probably wouldn’t have even crossed. We ran in different circles. Sometimes I just ran away from school all together.”

“What, you mean you skipped class?”

Emily could hear the trepidation JJ was trying to suppress in her voice and grinned. “Yes. I did it a lot more frequently than I’d care to admit. Don’t tell me you never skipped out?”

“Of course I skipped.” It was an unconvincing lie, causing JJ apparent physical pain. Her jaw contracted, and Emily could swear she saw a shiver race down JJ’s spine.

“Oh my god, you never skipped! Ha, you’re such a nerd.” 

“Anyway,” JJ dismissed, “back to our initial problem. My mother.”

“Your mother,” Emily said with a nod. “I can’t wait to genuinely meet her.”

JJ looked at her with something inexplicable in her eyes. “Really?”

The simple, one-word question was delivered so softly and so full of awe that Emily’s breath caught in her throat. She wanted to grab JJ’s hand or pull her into an embrace but remembered where they were. “Really,” Emily answered. “I’m aware I met her at the wedding, by the way. We didn’t talk much, though, and this time it seems…different. And more important, considering you’re my girlfriend. I have no idea how I am at first impressions, but I will do everything in my power to win your mom over.”

“You’re kind of the best, you know that?” JJ’s signature smile that could make even the coldest person feel moved leapt across her face.

“People have told me that before.”

There was a pause as both women sorted through their thoughts. Disclosing the relationship to JJ’s mom – even a year after it had started – was a big step forward, but there was a smaller, equally important jump that had to be made too. The quiet lasted a beat longer.

Then, simultaneously, “We should tell the team.”

They grinned at each other, and Emily reached out for a high-five. “Are we good or are we good?”

“I’d venture to say we’re perfect even,” JJ replied as she slapped her hand against Emily’s. 

"We should maybe do it…now-ish, right? I assume you want to tell them before we tell your mom.”

“You’re right,” JJ affirmed. Telling the rest of the BAU was going to be the easier of the two tasks. “You all are about to leave for the case, and who knows when we’ll have the chance to do it after that. At least my mother has provided us with the motivation to finally tell the truth. You think everyone’s going to be okay with this?”

“I’ll threaten to fire anyone who has problems with it,” Emily swore. She crossed her heart with a finger to indicate how much she meant it.

“That might be considered abusing your power.” JJ poked Emily in the knee.

“Well, if no one says anything dumb we won’t have issues, will we?”

“Fair enough,” JJ sighed.

Emily slid off the desk and began walking towards the door. “Like you said about your mom, it’s about time they find out.”

JJ stood up and followed Emily. “We’re going to do this all in one fell swoop and then we won’t have to worry about keeping secrets anymore. Leap of faith.” 

“Leap of faith,” Emily repeated. She brushed her fingers across JJ’s shoulder. “It’s a beautiful day to tell the people we love we’re in love.”

JJ snorted but was grinning widely. “That was so cheesy, and I absolutely adore you for it.”

“Exactly the reaction I was aiming for. I’ll gather everyone and meet you in the conference room.”

Five minutes later, the team was sitting at the round table; they looked at each other with confused expressions, as no one offered up any explanations yet. JJ and Emily stood with their arms crossed, unsure of where to start.

“Leap of faith,” JJ mumbled under her breath. 

Emily cleared her throat. “Okay,” she began when all eyes were on her, “we’ve been briefed on the case, so this isn’t that. Due to personal obligations, JJ will be staying here and consulting with us long distance.” She stopped to try and gauge the atmosphere. There wasn’t so much as a twitch, leaving Emily to come up with nothing.

“Now, I don’t want to overstep boundaries, Prentiss,” Rossi said, “but certainly you didn’t call us all in here just to tell us JJ is staying back?”

“Right you are,” Emily told him. “We do have one more thing that must be said. If there is a correct way of going about this, I am unaware of it and will therefore be winging it.” She shot a tense smile at her friends. “Um, so, we have been thinking about when the right time to do this was, but it didn’t seem like the ‘right time’ existed, which is why it hasn’t happened before today. So, not to get too convoluted…JJ and I are…” All of the words in numerous languages Emily knew and she couldn’t find the few she was searching for.

JJ took a step forward and jumped in. “Emily and I are dating. We have been for about a year now, and, seeing as you all are our family, we wanted you to be the first ones to officially know. Also, we will not be taking any criticism, thanks so much.” 

The silence that followed the announcement weighed on JJ and Emily. They could hear their hearts pounding in their ears.

Finally, the team erupted into cheers and hollers so loud both women flinched.

“It’s about damn time!”

“Who won the bet?”

“What’s taken you so long?”

“Wait, wait, wait,” Emily interrupted, shaking her head. “There was a bet? A bet about what?”

Her coworkers all adopted sheepish grins.

“When you two would admit it,” Garcia spoke up.

Emily turned to JJ in disbelief. “See? This is why we can’t have nice things around here. Because there are bets placed on people’s relationships.”

JJ was more concerned with something else. “You guys knew about us and didn’t say a word?” She glanced around with incredulity plastered on her face.

“How could we not know?” Matt asked. “It’s pretty obvious.”

“It is not!” Emily said defensively.

“It is, actually,” Reid intoned. “Sneaky glances, walking to your cars at the same time, coincidentally showing up to the office in sync almost every day…the list goes on.”

“I sort of thought you two were dating the first time I saw you together when Prentiss was filling in for Hotch,” Luke admitted. “I had to ask Garcia if there was something there.”

“To which I responded, ‘There is, they just haven’t gotten around to unpacking it yet.’” Garcia had on a knowing smile.

JJ rested her arms on the back of a chair. “I can’t believe this—”

“Didn’t you each fly across the ocean when the other one was in danger?” Tara inquired with a mischievous glint in her eye. 

“How do you know that?” Emily demanded.

“People talk,” was the reply.

“Ladies,” Rossi intervened, “please excuse our less-than-surprised reactions. Most of us assumed you two have been involved for a lot longer than a year.”

“All of us assumed that,” Garcia corrected him. The group nodded in confirmation.

Emily tilted her head to the side. “And you said nothing?” 

“We didn’t want it to seem like we were applying pressure,” Luke said. “You deserved to tell us on your own terms.”

“We’re thrilled for you, though,” Matt told JJ and Emily. “You don’t have to force yourselves to stop staring at one another when we’re around anymore.”

“Thank you, Matt,” JJ said. “I think.” She glanced at Emily.

“Who did win the bet?” Reid thought out loud.

“Oh, I did, genius,” Tara responded through a wicked smirk. Her manner made it clear she wasn’t going to let Reid forget the fact anytime soon. “October is always a good time to declare love.”

“Great,” Emily said loudly. “Very glad the bet was won and we are all on the same page. JJ and I appreciate your support, probably more than you know. Thank you for being awesome. But now it’s time to go. Wheels up in 10.”

“10?” Luke whispered to no one in particular. “Is she allowed to do that?”

Rossi leaned forward in his chair looking somewhat offended. “Is that it? You don’t want to plan a big, celebratory party at my house for when we return—?”

“Out,” Emily ordered and jerked a finger in the direction of the door. 

The team left the room wearing smiles. Matt and Luke both gave thumbs up as they passed.

“Just so you know, I am your #1 fan and have been since the first time you two met,” Garcia squealed. She grabbed JJ and Emily’s arms and gave a squeeze. “This is the most exciting day of my life. I feel like a proud mother. I’m so happy for you!” Garcia departed in a fit of delight before either could reply.

Tara stopped in front of the women. “I’d apologize for the whole betting thing, but I won, so I think we all know that apology would be insincere,” she said, eliciting smiles from JJ and Emily.

“If someone had to win, we’re glad it was you,” JJ admitted.

“Damn straight. But really, I can’t tell you how perfect this match is.” Tara waved a finger between the couple. “It makes sense. I might be giving Garcia a run for her money when it comes to being your biggest supporter.”

“Thank you, Tara. That means a lot,” Emily said.

She and JJ were left alone then. They turned to face each other with relief.

“That went a lot better than expected,” JJ remarked.

“It did.” Emily stepped in to tuck a strand of hair behind JJ’s ear. “Although, having our own secret was a little fun.”

“It was, wasn’t it?” JJ’s smile wavered ever so slightly. “One down, one to go.”

“I can stay if you want me to,” Emily offered. She searched JJ’s eyes for what she was thinking.

JJ grabbed Emily’s hand and interlaced their fingers. “I do want you to stay. But I also know that you are Unit Chief and cannot skip out on cases like you skipped class in high school.” 

“Low blow, Jareau.”

“You have to go. Otherwise, that group of children will get themselves in trouble.”

Emily released a groan that turned into somewhat of a whine. “This is going to suck without you.”

“I’m sorry to leave you alone. Hopefully they don’t give you too much grief for taking so long to tell them about us.” 

A glance at her watch told Emily she had less than seven minutes to grab her go-bag and make it to the plane. Part of her considered conveniently letting it take off without her. But JJ was right: being Unit Chief made that option useless. 

“Maybe this stretch with your mom will be different and bring you closer together,” Emily offered. 

“Maybe.”

“And, really, I can’t wait to meet her.”

JJ sighed contentedly. “I appreciate you.” She noticed the time as well and shook their still locked hands. “Okay, you have to go. Be safe. Call me when you land. I’ll look over the file and let you know if anything stands out.”

“I’m always safe.” Emily leaned in and pressed her lips to JJ’s temple. “I love you,” she whispered into blonde hair.

“No way,” JJ replied, stroking her thumb over Emily’s knuckles, “I was just going to say that too. I love you.”

With everything in her protesting, Emily let go of JJ and ambled towards the door. She was almost over the threshold when an idea struck her. “Hey,” Emily said as she turned around, “we are going to take Rossi up on his offer about the party, right? I know I was the one to cut him off, but if he’s offering free alcohol—”

“We’ll talk about it when you get back,” JJ assured her. “Now go.”

———————————————————————————

JJ hung up the phone and returned to the conference room. Her mom was sitting on the couch gazing out the window – like she had done the past two days.

“Sorry about that,” JJ said as she sat down. 

“Don’t worry about it, darling,” Sandy Jareau said. She turned around so she was facing her daughter. “Was it an update?”

“It was,” JJ confirmed. She began organizing the papers for the folder in front of her which would be going into the archives soon. “They’re on their way home.”

“They caught the guy?”

“Things didn’t end up the way we hoped they would, but the town, and the kids, are safe.”

Silence descended upon them. JJ focused on the file and making sure it was in order. Sandy had wanted to do nothing but visit with JJ at the office. Numerous times JJ had made offers to go shopping or sightseeing; all of them were declined. Sandy had blended into the background, never bothering JJ and only asking the occasional question. The interactions were seemingly forced. JJ said a silent prayer of gratitude that Emily would be back soon. 

She’d decided to wait until they were together to tell her mother about their relationship. Mostly because having Emily by her side would fortify JJ, but also because it felt like Sandy would need to actually see the woman her daughter was dating.

“I was tempted to look in the folder.” Sandy’s voice broke through JJ’s musings.

“Hmm?”

“The folder,” Sandy said again and nodded to it on the table, “I was tempted to look. See what’s inside and all that.”

“Mom, you definitely don’t want to do that,” JJ told her. “You wouldn’t be able to see the world the same way afterwards. It’s not worth it.”

“I know, I know. I remember the last time I was in the city; you told me how terrible some of the things you look at are.”

“Right, so, no checking out the case file.”

“I get it now.”

JJ shook her head in confusion. “Get what?”

Sandy got up from the couch to sit in the chair beside JJ. “Seeing you here at work the past few days. You look in the folder so the rest of us don’t have to.”

It was the most touching sentiment JJ had received from her mother in decades. It stupefied her.

“Uh…thanks, mom,” JJ stammered. She couldn’t think of a more elaborate response. 

“I always thought I messed up with you. After your sister died and I closed myself off.” Sandy had a distant look on her face and she appeared to be saying things she was worried she’d never get a chance to. “In retrospect, I could’ve – should’ve – done so much more. And the things I did do could’ve been done differently.”

“I’m not sure that’s totally fair to you—”

“Is that why you left?”

JJ took a moment to compose herself before answering. This was the topic of an unrecognized argument between her and her mother for as long as JJ could remember. “No, mom,” she said with clenched teeth. “I left because I went to college and then got a job.”

“You wanted to leave East Allegheny from the time you knew it was possible.”

“Can you blame me?” The question came out sharp, and JJ immediately regretted it. “It’s just, all of the bad memories that place holds…I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t stay.”

“So you left me.” Sandy’s voice didn’t hold an accusatory tone, but JJ could sense the subtle undertone of criticism. “You didn’t even come back to visit.”

“I did.”

“For a case, JJ! You were in and out within a couple of days.”

JJ curled her hands into fists to avoid the urge to rip up the papers on the table. “That’s not fair. Everywhere I looked reminded me of her. Of Roz. I felt suffocated by that town. I’m sorry I couldn’t get over what happened, but you don’t get to make me feel guilty for doing what was best for myself.”

“I’m not trying to make you feel guilty,” Sandy said. “I just…”

“Wish things were different?” JJ supplied. 

“Yes. When you decided to leave and not come back it made me realize I had spent so many years ignoring what you needed and wanted. It wasn’t fair. And I’m sorry about that, JJ. It was easier to shut down than face reality. That’s no excuse, but it is the truth.”

The rift between JJ and her mom suddenly seemed to shrink in size. JJ began to think she would no longer have to yell across it to make her point heard. 

While it was true JJ had up and left her hometown at the earliest possible moment, she had done very little to reconcile with Sandy. She didn’t feel completely guilty: it was, after all, Sandy who had pushed JJ away in the first place. But the more years JJ spent with the BAU the more she understood the option of trying to live in a bubble. 

“I left to get away from East Allegheny, yes,” JJ started, “but it was also because I felt like you didn’t need me around. I figured everything would be easier if I just got out and didn’t look back.”

Sandy held her hands in her lap. “I’m sorry I made you feel that way. I needed you; I will always need you. Even during all those years when I distanced myself, just knowing you were around and healthy and successful was what got me through some days.”

“Thank you for saying that.”

“JJ?” Sandy waited until her daughter’s eyes were on hers. “I should have told you this, and a lot of other things, a long time ago, but I am so incredibly proud of you. What you do here at work, who you are as a person and as a mother…I couldn’t ask for anything else.”

“Thank you,” JJ said again. She wasn’t used to feeling so emotional around her mother. “That means a lot.”

“I know this doesn’t make up for everything that’s happened, but I hope it’s a start.”

“It’s a start,” JJ agreed. “Let’s turn the page.” She looked at the clock on the wall and added, “Over dinner?”

Sandy smiled the first genuine smile of hers since arriving in D.C. “I would love that.”

JJ left the file and its contents behind, deciding she would deal with it tomorrow, and led the way through the bullpen. She was about to press the button for the elevator when the doors opened and out poured the rest of the team. JJ and her mom stepped back to give them space. Her sight found Emily and she tried to convey all of the conflicting emotions she was feeling.

“Hey there,” Matt said. A small smile tugged on his lips as he looked between JJ and Sandy.

“Everyone,” JJ acknowledged. “Mom, you remember Emily, Rossi, and Reid from…a couple of years ago?” She gestured to them.

“Certainly,” Sandy said amicably. “You have faces that aren’t easy to forget.” They beamed in return.

“Don’t tell them that, it’ll go to their heads.” JJ pointed to her other three colleagues, who grinned and waved. “This is Dr. Tara Lewis, Luke Alvez, and Matt Simmons.”

“It’s very nice to meet you all.”

Emily looked at JJ with an expression that asked if Sandy had been clued in on the relationship. JJ gave a small shake of her head; her eyes swept across the entire group, hoping they would all take notice and understand its meaning. 

Almost everyone did.

“I’m sure your time with JJ has been a bit more of a shock than last time given—” Reid abruptly stopped talking when Tara elbowed him in the ribs. 

“Given the new faces here in the team,” Luke interceded. “Crazy how much can change in a few years, right?” 

JJ had been holding her breath and exhaled as she saw her mother nod in agreement. 

“You’re right. But these new faces seem more than capable of getting the job done,” Sandy complimented.

“Thank you, Ms. Jareau,” Matt answered.

“Okay,” JJ said before anyone went further, “I am glad you all are back, but we were just headed for dinner. I will see you tomorrow and we’ll talk then.”

“Hope to see you soon,” Sandy remarked as she surveyed the group with a smile.

The team bid their goodbyes and filed through the glass doors; on her way by, Emily shook the folder in her hand, silently telling JJ she had to finish the report before she left for the night. 

JJ encircled Emily’s wrist with one hand and inclined her head. “Italian restaurant on the corner. Whenever you’re done,” she whispered quickly. “Please.” 

She didn’t have time to wait on a response, for Sandy was getting on the elevator. JJ hurried to catch up; the doors closed and she was alone with her mother once more. 

After almost an hour of beginning to rebuild what had crumbled between them, JJ felt like their relationship was finally going in the right direction. While eating dinner, she and Sandy discussed everything from work to Henry and Michael to memories from JJ’s childhood that had slipped away.

One topic JJ made sure to steer clear of was her dating life. She had told her mom – over the phone – about her separation from Will, and they hadn’t touched on the conversation since. Sandy had been left speechless; after she found her voice again, she could only ask if JJ was sure about the decision or if there was anything that could be done to remedy the situation. 

Dessert was just cleaned off the table when JJ saw Emily walk through the front door. They locked eyes and JJ felt her chest lighten. 

“I’m so sorry I’m late,” Emily said as she approached. “The final report took longer than anticipated.”

JJ instinctively stood up to greet her. “Hey, no, don’t worry about it. I’m glad you made it.” She pulled out the chair beside her and signaled for Emily to sit down. When they both were seated, JJ faced her mother. “Mom, once again, you know Emily Prentiss. Emily, this is my mom, Sandy. I know you two briefly talked way back at the wedding, but I don’t think there was ever an actual introduction. So, here we are.”

“Ma’am,” Emily started, extending a hand, “it’s really great to finally meet you. I mean, legitimately meet you.”

Sandy appraised her for a moment, then determined she was worthy of a handshake. “Nice to officially meet you too. You’re the one who jetted off to London.”

“I am, yes.”

“But,” JJ ran interference, “she came back when we were in need of a new Unit Chief.” 

“What made you come back?” Sandy queried. 

Emily glanced at JJ and smiled coyly. “The people mostly,” she said. “And the BAU was what led me to Interpol in the first place, so getting to come back made nothing but sense.” 

“Do you have any regrets?”

“None at all. It was the best decision of my life.” Emily grasped JJ’s hand underneath the table.

JJ took a deep, bracing breath. “Mom, there’s something I need to tell you.” She paused to see if Sandy would interrupt; when she didn’t, JJ continued, “Emily is here for a reason and—”

Now Sandy did interject. “I was going to ask about that but didn’t want to be rude.”

A nervous smile formed on JJ’s lips. “It’s fine. Emily is here because she’s my girlfriend.”

The words hung in the air between them. In JJ’s head, the declaration had sounded more eloquent and poetic. When a blank expression crossed Sandy’s features, JJ wished she had more to say. But she assumed the mindset that simple, in this case, was good.

“I…what?” Sandy eventually managed to ask. She kept looking between the women as if the solution to the problem inside her head was visible.

“Emily is my girlfriend,” JJ reiterated. She focused on the circles Emily’s thumb was making on the back of her hand. “We’ve been dating for almost a year, and you deserve to know. Especially if you and I are going to attempt to reconnect.”

“A year?” 

“We were taking things slowly,” JJ explained. “It was uncharted territory, and we were enjoying keeping it between ourselves. There are other people in our lives, though, and we realized they should know. We want the other people to know now.”

“This is why you and Will separated?” Sandy fiddled with the napkin in her lap. There was no anger or reproach in her tone as JJ was expecting, just curiosity.

“Not really,” JJ said honestly. “Will and I had been going through a small rough patch for a very long time. It was only a matter of time before everything fell through all together. Emily was there to help me work through things, and I guess fate really is a funny thing. Even if…”

“Even if what?”

“Turns out, by the time we admitted our feelings, Emily and I had been in love with each other for quite some time.”

“How long is ‘quite some time?’”

“12 years to be exact,” Emily helped out. Then she added, “Ma’am.”

“Neither of us was ready to accept that until Will and I started having disagreements on a daily basis.”

JJ was expecting her mother to ask nothing short of 100 questions about her relationship with Emily. She had gone to dinner mentally preparing herself for waves upon waves of inquiries about discoveries and sexualities and how things would change. The sole question JJ hadn’t predicted was the only one Sandy had left.

“Are you happy?”

JJ turned her head towards Emily and laughed at how easy the answer was. “Happier than I have ever been in my life.”

“That’s the only thing that matters then.” Sandy was wearing a big, proud smile and JJ suddenly felt tears welling up. She wiped them away with the hand that wasn’t holding Emily’s.

“I’m really glad you said that.”

“What else would I say?” Sandy pondered. “I know it hasn’t been apparent for many years now, but your happiness is the most important thing in the world to me, JJ.” 

“Thank you.” A weight JJ hadn’t known existed lifted from her.

Sandy sat back in her chair and studied her daughter’s girlfriend. “Tell me about yourself, Emily.”

Emily let out a breath of air. “Oh, where to begin? Should I start with the time people thought I was brought to the BAU to report back on the team, or the time when I had to live in Paris for months because all but two people thought I was dead?” She shook her head in regret. “That sounded funnier in my head.”

“No, no,” Sandy insisted, seemingly genuinely intrigued, “it seems you’ve led – and died? – an exciting life.”

JJ felt a rush of affection for both of them.

It was another 45 minutes before they decided to call it a night. JJ paid the bill and followed Emily and her mother out of the restaurant. She slipped the keys out of her bag to hand them to Sandy.

“If you don’t mind, I’m going to catch a ride with someone else.”

“I’ll get her back to you safe and sound,” Emily vowed.

“You don’t have to get her back to me at all if you don’t feel like it. I know you two have been apart for a few days now and there’s probably so much you want to catch up on.” Sandy wiggled her eyebrows suggestively, and JJ pinched her nose.

“That’s enough of that. I will see you when I get to the hotel.” JJ leaned in for a hug.

“I hope we’ll be seeing more of each other,” Sandy said to Emily as she pulled her in to hug her as well.

“Me too.”

“JJ, if you don’t make it back until morning—”

“Goodbye, mom.”

Sandy waved then left for the car, leaving JJ and Emily alone. 

“That was—”

“Holy shit,” JJ breathed. She put her arm through Emily’s and clutched it as though it were a lifeline.

“You okay?” Emily asked as they headed the opposite way of Sandy.

“I am. Which I didn’t think I would be able to say after all of this.” 

“I’m happy for you. And proud of you.”

“Emily,” JJ dragged out her name; they stopped walking after only making it 10 feet. JJ wrapped her arms around Emily’s neck, and Emily’s automatically found JJ’s waist. 

“What is it?” Emily’s eyes were full of concern.

“Tonight was,” JJ struggled to find the words, “a lot. These past few days have been a lot, to tell you the truth. And I wouldn’t have made it through them without you.”

Emily clasped her fingers together behind JJ. “I appreciate that, JJ, I do, but you did it mostly yourself. If you recall, I was in a completely different state.”

“You called every three hours,” JJ pointed out. 

“I wanted to make sure you were okay!”

“I know that,” JJ said with a chuckle. “That’s why I’m extremely grateful for your existence. Those punctual phone calls helped more than I could ever tell you.”

“Well, you know me, always doing what I can for the people,” Emily said, pulling JJ closer.

“Your services are held in the highest regard. Always.” JJ closed the distance between them to kiss Emily, a kiss into which she tried to pour all of her emotions. The familiar spark flew both of the bodies, and in the back of her mind, JJ thought her mother would be correct after all: she wouldn’t be making it back to the hotel until morning.

“Do you think your mom liked me?” Emily murmured when they broke apart.

JJ put her hands on either side of Emily’s face. “I think my mother loved you.”

“Really?”

“Absolutely. She wouldn’t have asked you to tell the story about getting trapped in an underground cult if she didn’t. I’m never asked to go into details.”

“I’m sure that’s because you’re her daughter and she doesn’t want to have to imagine what you go through,” Emily reasoned.

“Or it’s because she already loves you more. You are very charming.”

“I am, aren’t I?” Emily kissed JJ again, saying into her lips, “But not nearly as charming as you.”

JJ ran a hand down Emily’s arm until their fingers intertwined. She gave a tug and they picked up walking. “I’m glad you’re back.”

“I’m glad I’m back too. It was hell without you.”

“How bad were they?”

Emily shrugged. “As you would expect. Rossi and Reid kept going on about how they’ve known for such a long time; Garcia took every chance she got to remind me how excited she is; Tara at least defended my honor and promised to fight everyone if they kept making comments. Since I’m Unit Chief and had to be ‘professional.’” Emily’s tone emphasized the quotation marks around the last word.

“Ah, the struggles of being in charge,” JJ empathized. “You were right, though.”

“Could you perhaps narrow it down as to what I was right about?”

“This time with my mom…it was better than usual. We started working through some things, and we’re nowhere near where we could be, but progress is progress.”

They had reached the car and stood next to it while Emily fished through her pocket for the keys.

“You deserve it, JJ,” Emily told her. “You deserve everything good in the world, including a healthy relationship with your mom if it’s possible.”

“If I have you – and Henry and Michael – what else do I need?” JJ flashed her brightest smile at Emily.

“See? Charming.” She opened the door then closed it after JJ had slid in. 

“I’m being serious!”

“Sure, sure,” Emily said as she got into the driver’s seat. 

“Emily.” JJ twisted around so she could look at Emily. “I love you.”

A smile that was reserved only for JJ grew across Emily’s mouth. “I love you too.” She put the keys in the ignition and started the car. “Am I taking you back to the hotel or are we going to prove your mom right by spending the night—”

JJ’s face contorted in disgust. “Please don’t mention our love life and my mother in the same sentence ever.”

“Yep, I heard it as soon as I said it. Will not be happening again.” 

“Thank you. But yes, my mom will have to wait until tomorrow to see me.”

“Beautiful words.”

“Hey,” JJ said after Emily had pulled out of the parking spot, “should we tell your mom about us next?”

Emily glanced over and noticed the twinkle in JJ’s eyes. “JJ?”

“Yes, dear?” JJ answered sweetly.

“Please don’t mention my mother in any sentence ever again.”

JJ settled back in her seat, taking Emily’s free hand in her own. “You got it, boss.”

“So about that party at Rossi’s…”


	6. 29.

The sun hung in the cloudless sky, providing unabashed and searing heat. There was no breeze to abate the conditions, so the trees on either side of the trail stood motionless. They were good for a sliver of shade only every so many feet. 

Begrudgingly, the team traipsed ahead in a single file line. Emily and JJ brought up the rear; the former kept stopping to adjust her backpack without warning, causing JJ to walk into her.

“Not to be a fun-sucker or whatever,” Tara called out ahead, “but I think inviting me was a major mistake.”

“No, no, no,” Penelope disputed, “no one gets left behind. Especially on weekend family outings.”

“Oh, sure,” Luke said to her, “like you’re over the moon to be here.”

“Do I still have some reservations? Sure, but—”

“We are here to bond and have a good time,” Rossi said from the front of the group. “Every time one of you complains, $5 has to be added to the Complaints Jar.”

“We don’t have a Complaints Jar,” JJ pointed out.

“Then we’ll get one,” came Rossi’s response through clenched teeth.

“Come on, it’s team bonding!” Reid’s tone was cheerful, but it fell short of its target. “It’s fun!”

“Says the guy who wore khakis into the woods in the middle of summer,” Matt muttered under his breath.

They pushed on, sweat dripping and frowns growing bigger with each step. The lake below them glittered in the sunlight and at least provided a scenic view during their trek.

“Remind me again how we came to decide on camping of all things,” Luke eventually wondered.

Rossi checked his watch to see how they were doing on time. “Drew it out of a hat.”

“That is quite literally the worst way to choose how we spend weekends we don’t have to work,” Emily told him.

“Also, why do we have to spend our off weekends with each other?” Tara made an attempt to keep the criticism out of her voice, but it wasn’t a total success. “Don’t get me wrong; you’re all great. I just feel like, generally, I see you every day of the week.”

Matt reached behind to give Tara a fist bump. “She’s right. This team spends so much time together JJ and Emily were able to fall in love somewhere down the line. Look at them—”

Emily had paused again and JJ stumbled as a result. “Will you please stop stopping?”

“The backpack keeps slipping,” Emily complained. “I can’t help it.”

“Well, when I clip your heel and you trip, I will not be accepting the blame.”

“You’ve clipped my heel three times.”

“That’s because you’ve stopped three times.”

“Oh my god,” Tara interrupted, “this camping trip is already tearing apart two of the most in love people I have ever seen.”

Rossi threw a quick glance at the women. “Hey, old married couple?” he addressed them. “There will be no bickering this weekend.”

Emily flicked JJ’s arm before turning around to face forward. “You can’t tell me what to do. I’m your boss.”

“Not this weekend. Prentiss, you have many talents, but I think this lies just a little bit out of your forte.”

Emily could think of no good reply except for a shrug of her shoulders.

A few minutes later, Rossi let out a sigh of relief as they walked into the open clearing of where they were to camp. Matt and Luke dropped the large cooler they’d been carrying between them; it provided a seat for Penelope, who plopped down on it looking exhausted.

Rossi clapped his hands together. “Here we go. All of you spread out, claim your territory for your tents, and get to work.” Seven pairs of eyes did nothing more than scowl at him, so he gestured around them. “Now.”

The group scattered slowly, fanning out in all directions around the logs in the center of the camping ground that surrounded a shallow hole for a fire.

“Who died and made you king of camping?” Penelope mumbled when she walked by.

“I am the oldest, and therefore the wisest,” Rossi declared. He began taking out his supplies while the statement earned him eyerolls and groans from everybody else.

“We’ll see how wise he is when he thinks we have to start the fire the old-school way because he can’t find the lighter due to me stealing it,” Emily said to JJ as they wandered to survey the area. She slid the device out of her back pocket with a flourish.

JJ snorted and gave a nod of approval. “Very well done.”

They stopped at a patch of grass that Emily felt held promise for their temporary living quarters. She stared at JJ expectantly.

“What?” JJ asked. She was twirling the end of her braid around a finger.

“Is this a good spot for our tent?”

“How should I know?”

“Maybe because you’re you?” Emily suggested. “You love outdoorsy things!”

“That doesn’t mean I spend every weekend camping!”

JJ glanced around at the others: Matt and Tara were already erecting the poles of their tents; Reid was pacing back and forth, seemingly measuring something with his steps; and Luke’s patience was being tested as he helped Penelope sort her materials.

“Screw it,” JJ conceded. “This is as good as any other place.” She tossed the bundle that would become their tent onto the ground and shrugged off her backpack.

“Your enthusiasm is contagious,” Emily said as she followed suit.

They knelt down and started rooting through the parts. JJ unrolled the canvass, then went in search of the directions. She found a piece of paper, but upon reading it shot a sheepish smile at Emily.

“Emily?”

“Hmm?” 

“You remember that paper that flew out of the bag when we were unloading the car?”

Emily looked up at JJ with a confused expression. “Sure.”

“What would you say if I told you that had on it the directions for setting up the tent? At least, the directions in English.”

“JJ, if you’re implying we have to bunk with Reid or Penelope, I will walk home. I’m not kidding. I’ll do it.”

“What are the odds of the one slip of paper we lose being the directions we need?” JJ inquired. She gave the impression of being genuinely astonished at the situation. 

Reid, who had somehow heard her question, chipped in, “If you take into account—”

“Nope,” Emily cut him off. “You go back to measuring whatever it is you’re measuring. We have this.”

“Really? Do we have this?” JJ studied the paper more closely. “Are you fluent in Spanish—?” She handed it over to Emily without another word when she realized the question she was asking.

“Thank you, dear,” Emily said graciously. A wide grin had appeared on her face. “You should’ve led with that.”

With Emily translating, they put the tent together in a short amount of time and with few obstacles. Once finished, the two stood back to admire their work. 

“It looks bigger in the picture,” JJ observed.

“And since when do you mind sharing small spaces with me?” Emily questioned.

JJ slid an arm around Emily’s waist. “It’s not that. You just have the tendency to hog all of the blankets, and this will make it easier for you to do so.”

“That is not true.”

“Oh, it absolutely is!”

“Unbelievable. Maybe I will bunk with Penelope.”

“Yeah?” JJ moved closer so their faces were inches apart.

“Yeah,” Emily breathed. JJ was staring at her in a way that made her thoughts spin out of control. “She wouldn’t complain. She’d probably give me all of the…the blankets.”

“Perhaps. But would she do this?” JJ’s lips hovered in front of Emily’s a second longer before erasing the distance between them. Emily’s hands found either side of JJ’s face, and they moved in sync. 

When they broke apart a moment later, Emily rested her forehead on JJ’s. “No. She wouldn’t do that.”

“Didn’t think so.”

It was entirely possible for them to forget their surroundings and get lost in each other, but someone cleared their throat nearby. 

“Sorry to interrupt,” Reid said when the women were looking at him, “but I was told to round you two up for our usual game of poker.”

A groan erupted from JJ as she leaned into Emily’s shoulder. “Who let Rossi be in charge? There’s no way we came all this way to play cards.”

“He says it’s tradition and won’t allow us to forget about it just because we’re in the woods.”

Emily drew in a deep breath. “Tell Rossi to count us out. We’re going hiking.”

“You are?”

“We are?”

“Yes, JJ, we are,” Emily stated imploringly, hoping JJ would catch on. “Remember Matt told us about the trails that lead to the top of the mountain? We were super excited to get here and check them out?”

Realization leapt across JJ’s face. “Right. Yes. Of course. Spence, give everyone our condolences, but we will not be in attendance.”

“Are you serious? They are right there.” Reid pointed to the group as they were choosing seats at the picnic table affording a view of the lake. “Can’t you tell them yourselves?”

“Oh, you know, we would,” Emily said in a voice she tinged with regret, “but we really need to get going. We want to get back before dark.” She picked up her backpack, then grabbed JJ’s hand and started dragging her toward the trail behind their tent.

JJ managed to seize her own bag from the ground before yelling over her shoulder, “See you later!”

When they were far enough down the path so that the campground was no longer visible, Emily and JJ slowed their pace. 

JJ slung her pack over her shoulders. “Was that mean?”

“They’ll get over it.”

“It’s just, this was supposed to be a getaway for the team…”

“And the team will be there when we get back,” Emily assured her. “We spend more time with them than should legally be allowed.” 

“Fair point.” JJ interlaced her fingers with Emily’s as they continued walking.

“Besides, when was the last time we were alone – just the two of us?”

“We sleep in the same bed,” JJ said, and her eyes narrowed in suspicion.

“You fell asleep at 9:15 last night,” Emily reminded her. 

JJ made to respond, but snapped her mouth shut for a second longer. “That is also a fair point.”

“Not that it made any difference. I was out by 9:30.”

They fell into step beside each other, both feeling like the outwardly endless nature provided them with a realm all of their own where nothing could disrupt them. 

The sun was still high and hot, but a light breeze had started; it made this hike a little less miserable than the one from the car. Trees gave out more and more shade while the trail steadily increased in grade.

“You know,” Emily said into the silence, “when we’re through at the BAU, we should seriously consider moving out into the middle of nowhere. I mean, do you hear that?” She waved an arm around to emphasize her point. “Nothing. Absolutely nothing. It’s amazing.”

“‘When we’re through at the BAU?’” JJ repeated. There was the ghost of a smirk on her features. “So, what? Like 20 more years?”

Emily shook her head with vehemence. “If I’m still at the BAU in 20 years, please go to whatever necessary authority figure to get me fired. Tell them I’m incompetent or something.”

“I’m not sure you will ever be incompetent, but duly noted. I will add ‘Get Emily fired’ to my 20-years-from-now-to-do list.”

“I’m serious. At that point in my life, I am certain I’ll have the desire to live in a nice little place in the woods. Preferably you’re there as well, but if you’d rather stay at the BAU until your last day on earth…”

It was JJ’s turn to shake her head. “I don’t think so. I thought we agreed a long time ago that wherever we end up, we end up there together?”

Emily stopped to gaze at JJ in a way that had become like second nature to her: as if JJ were the only person in the universe. “We did say that, didn’t we?”

“Yeah, we did,” JJ said rather breathlessly because Emily’s contemplation of her spiked her heartrate. “If you go to the middle of the woods, I’ll be there too.”

“Hmm,” Emily hummed in thought and resumed walking again. “I’m a big fan of this idea.”

“Aren’t you a self-declared city girl?” JJ wondered. “Will you be able to adapt when in the middle of nowhere?”

“Sure, especially if you’re around to help me. And anyway, how many cities do you think we’ve been to courtesy of this job?”

JJ knew the answer to that one lied someone in Reid’s brain, not hers. She settled for, “A lot.”

“A lot is right. I’ll have seen enough for a lifetime. The woods will be much more welcoming by then.”

“I’m holding you to this.”

“I’m holding you to holding me to this.” Emily grinned broadly and swung her and JJ’s still linked hands.

They proceeded up the trail towards the crest of the mountain, which was growing close. The farther they retreated from society the more comfort they drew from the isolation. Something about being the only two people for what seemed like miles made Emily and JJ consider and appreciate the fact that, over a decade ago, the hands of fate directed them into each other’s lives.

A short while later, the trail leveled off, opening up to a rocky landing.

“Would you look at that,” JJ remarked in awe as they reached the peak. She dropped Emily’s hand to approach the brink. It overlooked surrounding summits and the canyon, full of foliage that extended so far it appeared to dissolve into the horizon. JJ glanced to her side and discovered Emily hadn’t followed her; a look behind told her Emily had hesitated at the end of the trail. “Are you okay?”

Emily forced herself to nod. “Yeah. It’s just…kind of high? I may have forgotten that aspect of hiking to the top of a mountain.”

JJ retraced her steps until she was standing beside her girlfriend. “Okay, then we won’t go near the edge.” She freed her backpack and sat down cross-legged on the spot, then patted the ground next to her. 

“Isn’t the point of reaching the top to sit on the edge and pretend you’re at the end of the world?” Emily inquired as she imitated JJ.

“No. The point of reaching the top is to make it there with someone you love and pretend you’re the only ones left in the world.” JJ automatically grasped Emily’s arm and ran her fingertips up and down it.

“Ah, you’re making your own rules now?” 

“Right,” JJ confirmed.

“I appreciate them.” Emily inched over so she could lay her head on JJ’s shoulder.

Silence brought about the opportunity to take in the breathtaking scene before them. With nothing more than the shivering leaves and chattering birds as background noise, it was the easiest thing for both women to imagine they really were stuck in a stitch of time where only they existed.

“Would I be ruining the moment,” JJ said after a few minutes, “if I told you I was hungry?”

Emily sat up so she could reach her bag. “It just so happens that I have in my possession a couple of fancy, gourmet energy bars that I may or may not have taken from Rossi’s kitchen this morning.” She slid them out of the side pocket and offered one to JJ, who eyed it cautiously.

“Are they the ones that get all crumbly when you try to eat them?”

“Of course not. I wouldn’t have grabbed them if they were. You hate those.”

JJ accepted the snack with a grateful smile. “Woman of my dreams, you are.”

“Don’t forget it.”

Something dawned on JJ. “What’s with you taking so much stuff from Rossi?”

“‘So much’” is kind of an exaggeration,” Emily answered. “But mostly I do it because he once told me I’d make a bad criminal.”

“That’s not necessarily a negative thing.”

“He meant it as an insult and I decided to test his theory.” Emily beamed triumphantly. “His theory sucks.”

JJ considered her for a second. “You’re out of your mind, you know that? Cute, and smart, but out of your mind.”

“That’s the best compliment you could’ve given me.”

They returned to etching the view from the peak into their memories. The sun was finally beginning its descent, and it cast an orange glow on the canyon, making it look like it was on fire. 

“You ever think about how big the universe is?” JJ asked. “And how, in the grand scheme of things, we and our problems are fairly insignificant?”

“Wish I had that mindset when I felt like kicking over a table at work because the coffee machine wouldn’t work.” Emily’s reply elicited a chuckle from JJ, but she knew the question was serious. “Yes, though. Sometimes I’ll remember how many possibilities and outcomes are there are and, somehow, you found your way into my life.”

JJ bumped Emily’s shoulder with her own. “You are a sentimental one.”

“So be it.”

“I know the universe probably doesn’t care about us any more than it does other people, but I do feel like I owe it a debt of gratitude.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes,” JJ said firmly. “Maybe everything is insignificant. What I’m sure of is that you give life meaning. And I don’t know what I did to deserve you, but I will be complaining about nothing.”

“I’ll complain on behalf of both of us,” Emily responded. “It took us more than 10 years to reach this point in our relationship. I loved you from afar for so long, and the stupid universe said, ‘Hey, you’re going to be too scared to tell her so sit back and figure it out.’”

“Wild. The stupid universe said the same thing to me when I realized I loved you while talking about protocol.”

“We really were destined for each other, huh?” 

“Big time,” JJ affirmed. “You know that cliché about finding and choosing your person in any world or any time? I didn’t really believe in it until you.”

Emily tugged on JJ’s braid and grinned. “Without a doubt in my mind, you are my person in any lifetime.”

“Marry me.” JJ spoke the words into the wind, hoping it would fortify the statement her voice couldn’t, but her eyes never left Emily.

“I’m sorry?” Emily leaned back, certain she had heard incorrectly.

“Marry me,” JJ said again; this time the words came out confident. “It doesn’t have to be anytime soon. Hell, it doesn’t have to be for another 10 years. All I know is, I’m not going anywhere. At least, not without you. So, marry me.” She was about to give Emily the chance to process, but then added, “This doesn’t have to be like, a true proposal, by the way. I’ll pull out all of the stops at a later point in time. Just…grant me the peace of mind. Please.”

Emily opened and closed her mouth twice while formulating her thoughts. “Who’s the sentimental one now?” It wasn’t what she had intended to say, but it slipped out.

JJ tilted her head. “Considering you’re the reason I’m saying all of this…still you.”

A shaky breath escaped Emily’s mouth. “Jennifer Jareau, I would marry you tomorrow if that’s what you wanted.”

JJ released the breath she had been holding in too and smiled. “Really?”

“Yes, really! You didn’t actually think I’d say no, did you?”

“I wanted to be as sure as possible, you never know—”

The rest of the words were swallowed by Emily’s lips on hers. JJ automatically lied on her back as she grabbed the collar of Emily’s shirt to pull her closer. The fervor in the kiss was escalating when JJ felt a stabbing pain in her back.

“Ow,” she groaned. 

“What? What’s wrong?” Emily’s tone was full of concern.

“A rock,” JJ explained. She felt around on the ground underneath her until she located the culprit. It was small, but sharp, and JJ chucked it over the side of the mountain. “That definitely constitutes ruining the moment.”

“It’s okay. We do have a perfectly good tent back at the campground.”

Emily stood, swiped the dust from her leggings, then helped JJ off the ground.

“We were almost there,” JJ murmured.

“Sorry, that was my fault.” Emily noticed the dirt that had settled on JJ’s shoulders and grimaced while she brushed it off. “Impulse control.”

“That’s not an impulse I want to control.”

“Well then let’s get back so we can act on it.”

They retrieved their backpacks and started down the trail a little more excitedly than on their way up.

“For the record,” JJ said, “we can’t get married tomorrow. This was more of a pre-proposal proposal. I meant what I said – there will be an official one. At some point in time.”

“What if I wanted to propose to you?” Emily questioned.

“You can.”

“A double proposal? How very unconventional.” The thought sat well with Emily.

“You faked your death for half a year and I had a part in orchestrating it. Our lives don’t know conventional.”

“Whenever we do get married, know that I’m doing it in part because of your brains.” Emily put an arm around JJ’s shoulders and kissed her on the side of the head.

“And I’ll be marrying you because you’re the boss,” JJ joked. 

“Your honesty is admirable.”

“I guess it’s possible your good looks and your intelligence and your kindness are also all contributing factors.” JJ wrapped her own arm around Emily’s waist.

“In that order?”

“Depends on the day.”

Emily fell deep in thought for a moment while she sifted through the recent exchanges. “You really want forever with me?” She asked it rather shyly, for she wasn’t able to fully get her mind around everything.

JJ stopped in her tracks to gaze at Emily with an intense blue stare. “Emily Prentiss, I want forever and then some with you.”

The grin that stretched across Emily’s face was the biggest of her lifetime. “If you insist.”

They picked up walking with very little space in between them.

“Hey,” Emily said suddenly, “you think Rossi would let us get married at one of his many vacation houses in tropical locations?”

JJ considered the idea. “Does it matter? Even if he says no, can’t you just steal his keys?”

“Touché.”


	7. 9.

The chill buried itself in Emily’s bones as she walked outside. She took a deep breath, the coldness of the air prickling her nose and lungs, before releasing it slowly. 

It was fate that brought her here, and it was fate that was leading her away in a short six hours. That’s what Emily told herself anyway. The two concepts clashed magnificently. 

She had been successful in what she came to do – mission-based, goal-oriented success. Nothing more. Now the time came to face the reality of the situation once again.

What Emily hadn’t expected was how harshly it would rip through her heart, leaving only mangled remains behind. Maybe because she couldn’t shake the thoughts of what could have happened. Or maybe because, even after nearly two years, London still felt like a completely different world that existed in a universe far from Emily’s old life. 

She leaned against the wall and plunged her hands into her pockets as she thought about the people, and the love, she would still be walking away from. Even if was for the best, as she had come to believe, part of Emily wanted to be stubborn and embrace the worst. 

A newly recognizable face materialized before her.

“Hey,” Blake said with a small smile. She had her arms wrapped around herself to ward off the cold and a knowing look on her face; Emily wasn’t quite clued in to what it applied to.

“Oh,” Emily started, somewhat startled, “hey.” 

“I’m sorry to bother you. You said you’d be right back and I couldn’t help but notice you…weren’t. I thought I’d come make sure you’re okay.”

“Oh,” Emily said again as she processed the words. “Thank you. You didn’t have to do that. I just needed some fresh air. It’s been a long day.” The layers in the last statement were countless, if only to Emily.

“I’m sure,” Blake responded, nodding. 

“This job never gets easier, does it?” Emily had been turning over the question since Hotch called. She felt she wasn’t even close to an answer.

“No, I’m afraid it doesn’t.” Blake appeared to struggle with what she wanted to say next and decided on, “Especially when it’s someone we care about.”

A small, humorless chuckle fell out of Emily’s lips. “Isn’t that the truth?”

“You’re in love with her.”

Emily’s eyes, which had been wandering the sky, snapped to Blake, who still wore an expression that said she contained knowledge that wasn’t necessarily public information.

“I’m…I’m sorry?” Emily stammered. She could hear her pulse thundering in her ears.

“JJ,” Blake clarified. “I know I’m still the newest member of the team, and you and I only met for the first time tonight, but I saw the way you were looking at her.”

“I don’t…I mean, I—” Emily fumbled to finish a thought – any thought – but there was a lapse between her brain and her mouth at the moment. 

“I’m also sorry for cornering you out here and then making that bold declaration,” Blake went on. “I figured your departure from the group had something to do with that feeling.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Emily forced out.

“You flew across the ocean to help her.”

“Because Hotch asked me to,” Emily replied on the defense, but it didn’t help her cause.

“So, you’re positing that if you had found out about JJ’s situation without Hotch’s call, you would have been fine staying in London and waiting to hear the outcome of the case?” 

A denial was on the tip of Emily’s tongue; she had long since prepped it in case anyone ever dared call her out on her feelings. No one did.

Until Alex Blake, whom Emily had only officially been introduced to a few hours ago. Whether it was because she was the first person to have the nerve to say something or because she was simply the first person who took notice – although Emily doubted that – it didn’t matter. 

Emily stared at Blake while sorting through her thoughts. Something about what she saw made her throw caution to the wind; there was a comforting sparkle in Blake’s eye, and Emily realized it was about time she said out loud the emotions she had been suppressing for so long. It might as well be to the person standing in front of her.

“Is it that obvious?” Emily was genuinely curious.

Blake paused before answering, seemingly for Emily’s benefit. “I’ve been told I’m an observant person, so maybe not.”

“Are you just saying that so I don’t feel self-conscious?”

“If you’re wondering whether the rest of the group noticed, I don’t think so. At least, not tonight. I’ve no idea if they’ve drawn conclusions from past experiences.”

“I’m sure they have,” Emily sighed. “But if that’s true, I can’t believe they’ve managed to keep their mouths shut for so long.”

Blake’s head tilted to the side. “How long exactly?”

“Hmm…seven-ish years.”

“And you’ve never said anything?”

“There was never a good time,” Emily explained. Although the admission hadn’t ever been spoken, the line of reasoning was frequent in Emily’s mind. Particularly when she considered why, really, she’s never said a word about her heart’s desires. “When she met Will she seemed to find the happiness she deserves. I’m a lot of things, but homewrecker is not one of them.”

“You know, the life we have isn’t always the life we want forever. Even if it appears to be,” Blake mused.

“I haven’t really taken stock of my life in a while, so I—”

Blake waved an apologetic hand. “I meant JJ.”

Emily let the words sit for a moment until she concluded something was lost on her. “Would you mind explaining what you mean?”

“I saw the way you were looking at JJ, yes. I also saw the way she was looking at you.” The smile was playing on Blake’s face again.

“She was looking at me the way she always looks at me,” Emily reasoned. She racked her brain to conjure up JJ’s expressions from the past few hours in an attempt to gain Blake’s perspective.

“If that’s the way JJ always looks at you, you two are in way deeper than I could have guessed,” Blake said with a breathy laugh.

“What?” Emily struggled with wrapping her head around what Blake was saying. “You think JJ…?” She couldn’t bring herself to finish the question. 

“I think you both have unresolved things going on in your heads. I’m in no position to say what they are or what they mean, but I’m certain they exist.”

“I don’t really know what to do with this information.”

Blake lifted her shoulders in reply. “Neither do I. I was merely the one observing.”

In spite of everything circulating within Emily’s head, she felt herself grin. “I should’ve told you this earlier, but I’ve heard a lot of amazing things about you too. Garcia really has a way of making you feel like you know someone you’ve never met.”

“That she does,” Blake agreed.

“There you two are.”

Emily and Blake whipped around at the sound of the voice.

“JJ!” they said in unison.

“I thought you’d gotten lost,” JJ remarked as she approached them.

Blake thought of an answer first. “My apologies. I was just asking Emily about the tea in London. I think I’ll be getting back to the team now. See you inside.” Without anything more, Blake swept between Emily and JJ, casting a meaningful smile in the former’s direction.

“The tea in London?” JJ wondered as her eyes followed Blake into the bar.

“Yeah,” Emily made an attempt to keep her voice natural, “You know how big tea is over there.”

“Sure,” JJ said, although she looked skeptical. Regardless, she mirrored Emily’s position by leaning on the wall next to her. 

“How are you feeling?”

“Like I was tortured for almost a day straight.” JJ gazed at Emily with a twinkling blue stare as a smiled formed on her lips. “What?” she asked a moment later when Emily said nothing. “Not even a little chuckle? Is it too soon?”

Emily studied JJ briefly; she noticed the fading dark circles under her eyes and how JJ still moved gingerly. “I don’t think there will ever be a time when I find that any kind of humorous,” Emily told her honestly.

“Okay, I’ll put it on the back burner.”

“Thank you.”

“Actually,” JJ started, shifting closer to Emily, “I should be thanking you. You saved my life, you know that right?”

“It was nothing,” Emily insisted. “Really.”

“Don’t do that.”

“Don’t do what?”

“That thing where you minimize your capabilities after doing something incredibly badass.”

Emily opened her mouth to answer, but closed it when she realized she didn’t know what to say. “Is that a thing I do?” she eventually asked.

“Yes,” JJ affirmed with a nod. “But no matter how you choose to look at it, you saved my life. Hell, you got on a plane and flew across the Atlantic for me. So, thank you.”

“You did the same thing for me a few years ago,” Emily pointed out.

JJ contemplated Emily; as she did so, Emily remembered what Blake had said and began to think that maybe – just maybe – it held some weight. There was an intensity in JJ’s regard that Emily felt was familiar, but also never noticed before then. It brought about a sense of comfort balanced out with some excitement. 

“Is that our thing then?” JJ inquired. “Flying across the ocean for each other when one of us is in danger?”

The sentiment made Emily’s heart soar. “I think since we’ve both done it, yes, it’s absolutely our thing.”

“Good.”

As silence settled around them, they took comfort in each other’s presence. Their relationship had always been one that didn’t necessitate spoken words; they could grasp what the other was thinking with nothing more than a glance. It was rare, what was between them, and both women knew it and appreciated it.

“So, Blackbird, huh?” Emily asked after a few minutes.

A grin grew across JJ’s face. “I really did know they’d call you. And if they hadn’t, I would’ve been so screwed.”

“Okay, genius,” Emily said as she nudged JJ with an elbow, “how did you know they would call me? I’m glad they did, but enlighten me.”

“You’re the person to call when it seems like all other options are useless. When it feels like there’s no solution and nowhere to turn. That’s where you come in. Because that’s who you are: someone who provides hope when it seems nonexistent and impossible.”

Emily felt a lump grow in her throat and waited a moment before replying. “That might be one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me.”

“It’s true,” JJ said. She was looking at Emily with that scorching intensity again. “I mean, it also helps you’re in a position that allowed you to cut through the red tape and answer questions others couldn’t, but my original point still stands.”

“Thank you,” Emily told her sincerely. “It means more than I could say.”

“And…” JJ averted her eyes from Emily as she considered something.

“Yes?”

“I don’t know,” JJ sighed. “Something in me just knew you’d be the one they reached out to. And honestly? It’s what got me through everything. I kept telling myself you’d be there, you’d figure it out, you’d save the day. You’re good at that.”

“No pressure or anything, right?” Emily joked. Thousands of other responses drifted around her head and crowded it, but she chose the safest bet that wouldn’t expose her emotions.

“No pressure,” JJ agreed, laughing softly. “I guess that was a lot to put on you.”

“Are you kidding? I laugh in the face of pressure. I thrive under pressure. In fact, I didn’t know about it, but it probably motivated me to help solve the case as quickly as possible.”

They held each other’s gaze for a couple of beats. Yearning coursed through Emily at top speed; she wanted to reach out and take JJ’s hand in her own, confess all of her pent-up hopes and dreams and fears. JJ stared back in a way that made Emily think she somehow felt the same way, despite internal warnings that told Emily it wasn’t true. 

“Do you ever wish you could go back to a certain time and do or say things differently?” JJ wondered abruptly. “I realize that’s kind of an overused concept, but I’m still going to ask it.”

Emily couldn’t count the examples that wrestled for the foremost spot in her brain. “Actually, yeah. I think about that concept a lot.”

“How do you come to terms with the decisions you’ve made? Especially in retrospect, when they seem glaringly wrong.”

“Um…I like to think most people do the best they can in a given situation. A decision might seem wrong now when, at the time you made it, it seemed like the right thing to do. If that’s true – if you went with a choice because you felt like it was genuinely the right one – I’m not sure you can fault yourself. Everything is more obvious when you look back on it.”

JJ nodded in acknowledgement. “If I knew then what I know now my life would be drastically different. And that terrifies me.”

“What do you know now?” 

This development coming from JJ was surprising. Emily had never heard the woman so much as consider an alternative life. Perhaps since Emily’s move to London the hands of the universe had chipped away at more than only her walls.

“I know it’s okay not to become the person I expected myself to be,” JJ said. “I know I can’t control every aspect of my life, no matter how hard I may try. But mostly…” She paused to take a deep breath, as though steeling herself. “Mostly, I know the age-old saying that you can cross paths with the right person at the wrong time in your life is an age-old saying for a very good reason.”

JJ wanted to say more – the pained expression on her face made that obvious. But she couldn’t bring herself to continue. Emily was at first wary of accepting JJ’s words as confirmation of Blake’s earlier suspicions, but there was part of her, deep down inside, that knew what JJ was talking about. Conversely, JJ knew what Emily was feeling and had been feeling for many years. That’s how their relationship worked.

And it would’ve stopped Emily’s heart in her chest if their lives had been different. If they had found themselves at points that weren’t where they were in that moment. If either of them had managed the courage to utter the confession years ago. It was everything Emily had wanted to hear from JJ since their first meeting, and nothing she would be able to call hers.

Which is why, instead of stopping, Emily’s already crushed heart shattered into a million more pieces, and she could feel the pain of each one. Because JJ was right; she had summed it up with one single adage: they may love each other, they may even be something close to soulmates. But it wouldn’t matter. Not then, not there.

Emily had been stubborn after all and refused to acknowledge the truth. Hanging on to the hope brought less pain.

Whatever higher powers reigned had tipped the scales in anyone else’s favor but Emily and JJ’s. They’d been fortunate to find a way into each other’s lives. It wasn’t enough, though. As JJ said, the timing hadn’t lined up. It missed its mark, maybe forever.

In the midst of the pain, Emily felt the anger beginning to surge. It shouldn’t be this difficult. Love, a happy ever after should be an easy choice, an easy fix when you’ve found the right person. 

“I thought I knew what I wanted,” JJ picked up. She appeared as miserable as Emily felt. “Turns out, the past few years have made me realize I did a lot of self-convincing about what I thought I wanted.”

“Well, don’t they say we know what’s best for ourselves? Maybe there wasn’t as much self-convincing as you think. Maybe it just seems like that now that you know…what you know.” 

JJ ran her hands through her hair and looked up at the sky. “Do you know what the most messed up part is? I was aware of what I was feeling and what it meant. But I was scared. Terrified, really. I didn’t want to mess anything up, which is why I never said anything and went for the most convenient option and—”

“JJ,” Emily intervened, “take a breath. It’s okay.”

“I should’ve said something,” JJ insisted.

“I should’ve too. The feelings were there, but I never mustered the nerve to tell you. Then I practically shoved you away.”

“The idea of ruining us…of losing you should things have gone wrong…it froze me.”

“You wouldn’t have lost me,” Emily answered, and she meant it. “I get it. My thought process was the same. Having you in my life in whatever possible form was a hell of a lot better than possibly not having you at all.”

“And now…” She faltered, not wanting to outwardly admit the mistakes made.

Emily tried to adopt a positive manner. “You have a life here, and I have one in London. We’re doing pretty good for ourselves, I’d say.”

“You’re my best friend,” JJ stated, and her fingers ghosted across Emily’s forearm, sending a streak of fire through it, even through the coat’s material. “Before anything else, at the end of every day, you’re my best friend.”

While not the words that would’ve helped Emily’s world make complete sense, they were welcome all the same. It would always be JJ; no matter where they were or what they were doing, Emily’s heart would be with JJ. By some means that Emily would probably never be fully aware of, she knew JJ felt the same way. It was in her voice and it was in her eyes and it was the way she was looking at Emily as though she was what anchored JJ to the earth. That was a comfort in of itself.

If only it were enough.

“I’d better be. I flew across the damn ocean for you.”

“You are,” JJ told her. “Always.”

“You’re my best friend,” Emily said. “In case you couldn’t guess.”

“Good. Otherwise, my trip across the Atlantic a few years ago was for nothing.”

Emily feigned offense and gave JJ’s shoulder a gentle shove. “That is hurtful and totally uncalled for.”

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding. It was an honor to fly across the Atlantic for you.”

They stared at each other, desperately wishing for another chance. Another timeline. One where everything fell into place without this pain and despair streaming throughout their bodies. The three words – making for an utmost heavy statement when put together – hadn’t been said between Emily and JJ, but they were there, floating through the air, felt strongly by both women.

Emily instinctively checked her watch and felt a pang in her chest at the sight. She didn’t want to say what she was about to say; she didn’t want to leave the corner of the universe she and JJ found themselves in outside the bar, where no one had bothered them or could bother them because it was their corner. No one else’s.

“It’s getting late,” Emily commented. She tried to avoid a shaky tone but failed.

JJ bit her lip and nodded rather hesitantly. “Yeah. You have an early flight to catch.”

“And you all have to be back at the office in just a couple of few hours. Do you realize what time it is? You might as leave here and go straight there.” Emily told herself to keep it light; there would be plenty of opportunities to give in to the emotions later when she was alone.

“I’ll suggest that to the team.”

“Will you…tell them I’ll stop by on my way to the airport?”

“Of course.” JJ didn’t require any further explanation. “I…didn’t mean for the night to go like this. Or end like this. I just…I wasn’t sure when the next time I’ll see you will be.”

“I don’t know,” Emily said in consideration, “I think as far as possibilities go, tonight wasn’t the worst. We could’ve spent the past hour listening to Reid drone on and on about random statistics, which is definitely what has been going on inside.”

“Good perspective.” JJ gave way to a resigned sigh. “You know I…I mean, I—” Her struggle with formulating a conclusion was interrupted by Emily throwing her arms around JJ and pulling her into an embrace.

“I know,” Emily murmured. “Me too.” She felt JJ’s arms tighten around her waist, and never had Emily wanted to stop time and stay in one moment forever as much as she did then. With everything in her refuting, Emily backed up a minute later, wanting to get the hardest part over. “Okay, I’m gonna go.”

“At least text me when you get back to the hotel so I know you’re safe?” 

“Yes, ma’am,” Emily agreed. She ignored the ache in her heart. Her thumb brushed over JJ’s cheek, then she forced her feet to begin moving in the opposite direction. Emily had made it 10 feet when JJ’s voice reached her ears.

“I’d ask you to stay.” 

Emily stopped in her tracks and turned around.

“If you weren’t doing an important job at Interpol or probably living a grand life in London. If things were different. It wouldn’t be fair of me to do so, but I’d ask you to stay.” JJ’s eyes were glistening as she fought to hold back tears. “If that makes any difference.” 

It didn’t take long for a response to form for Emily. “I would say yes.” Her own eyes started stinging and she wiped at them. “So I think that would make all the difference in the world.” 

“Emily.”

“Yeah?”

“In the future…if things were to change and maybe we finally get to the right time in our lives…would you consider giving it a shot?”

“I wouldn’t really have to consider it,” Emily told JJ. “You already know my answer.”

As she set off walking again, Emily hung her emotions on the thing she always had: hope.


	8. 37.

A floorboard that gave way ever so slightly under pressure. A metallic click underfoot.

Emily’s body realized what it meant before her mind processed it, which prevented her from making another move. Once the reality of where she found herself set in, Emily attempted the enormous task of adopting a calm manner. She took a deep breath and released it slowly while gathering her thoughts. It was then she remembered Luke was following behind.

“No,” Emily said sharply over her shoulder as Luke’s foot reached over the threshold. “Don’t come in here.”

“What? Why?” Luke asked, but he obliged and remained just outside the front door. 

“Luke,” Emily went on, “I need you to make sure no one else enters this apartment. Not until we’re sure it’s clear.” She sent up a silent prayer of gratitude that her voice displayed no indication of panic. Yet.

“Prentiss, what are you talking about? The landlord said no one has been here in weeks—”

“Not clear of people. Clear of explosives.”

Luke stared at Emily’s back for a beat, perhaps trying to decide if she was being serious. “How do you know?”

“Where I’m standing, the floor shifted a little under my feet.”

“This is an old building. That could’ve been—”

“There was a click – a metal one. It sounded like the cock of a gun.”

“Oh, well, I’m sure that was nothing more than—”

“Luke,” Emily cut him off, “your optimism is admirable, and I appreciate it. But I have been in this game long enough to know when I am or am not standing on a bomb. And right now? Right now, I am standing on what I presume to be a sensor plate. Which means that if I take another step, if I shift too quickly, this apartment and anyone in it will be torn to pieces.” 

Luke’s jaw clenched as he sorted through the options at hand. JJ, Matt, and Tara were downstairs talking to the neighbors who lived in the surrounding apartments of the one in which Emily was now stuck; Rossi and Reid had remained at the local PD to work out a timeline of the case the team was working on.

“What should we do?” Luke inquired after a minute. 

Emily grabbed onto the front of her FBI vest, careful not to redistribute her weight. “You are going to go back downstairs and tell everyone what’s going on. You’re going to call the Bomb Squad and explain the situation. We don’t know if there are any other explosives anywhere around here. Start clearing out the other residents too.”

“I’m not leaving you here alone.”

“This isn’t up for discussion. We have zero intel on this thing and I’m not taking any chances. Go.”

“Can’t I just tell them over the comms?”

Emily started shaking her head before Luke had even finished. “No. I need you all to start evacuating the building. We need it done quickly and effectively. You tell them over comms and there’s a bigger chance we incite alarm. That’s something we have to try to avoid at all costs.”

“I’m not abandoning you,” Luke persisted. 

“You can’t do anything here other than stare the back of my head, which, no offense, wouldn’t really be a meaningful contribution. However, telling the rest of the team what’s happening and getting people to safety? That would be a huge help.”

Luke contemplated the statement before nodding stiffly and yielding. “Okay, boss.” He was about to walk away from the scene when Emily spoke again.

“Luke?” The emotions she had been trying to ignore were starting to lodge themselves in her tone. 

“Yeah?”

“The most important thing: do not let anyone except the Bomb Squad up here.” She craned her neck around to give him hard, intense look, hoping he would understand.

Comprehension dawned on him. “You think I’ll be able to stop JJ from sprinting up here as soon as she hears where you are?”

“That’s exactly what I think.”

“Prentiss, she’s your girlfriend, I don’t think she’ll—”

“I need you to keep her away. Please.” Emily cursed inwardly when she heard the shakiness.

“Is that fair?” Luke asked uncertainly.

“I don’t know,” Emily told him honestly. “But it’s for the best.”

“I’ll do everything I can, but the woman’s got sharp, pointy elbows. One swing to my head and I might be knocked out…”

“Luke.”

“Right, I’ll save the humor for when you get out of this.” He glared at Emily’s ponytail meaningfully. “Because you are going to get out of this.”

“Of course.” Emily hoped the affirmation didn’t sound as disheartened as it felt leaving her mouth.

Luke gave a thumbs up and a smile, even though Emily couldn’t see either, as he backed up out of sight, leaving Emily alone.

The gravity of the circumstances crashed down on her and she allowed herself a moment of panic. Only a moment. Her heart was thundering in her chest and she closed her eyes to focus on breathing, fleetingly forgetting where she was. On the fifth inhale Emily glanced around at her surroundings to concentrate on something other than the device below her feet. 

Fortunately, they had evacuated the tenants of the floor prior to entering the apartment to clear it; but where there was a silver lining there was also a cold truth: this meant no familiar face would wander by.

By now, Luke would be in the lobby relaying the chain of events to the team. A call to the Bomb Squad was imminent if not already completed, which meant that every second that ticked by was another closer to Emily being able to move freely again. At least, in an ideal situation.

While every fiber of her being fought to keep them out, the thoughts of the worst-case scenario crawled into her mind, forcing their way through the rest. It was a very real possibility, Emily knew, that she had quite literally taken her last steps. Alone and uncertain of her fate, she hated every single item in the apartment, from the ugly wooden floor to the peeling yellow paint on the walls.

Meeting her end there seemed neither fair nor adequate. The anger at it all was about to surge through Emily when her phone started ringing. With every ounce of caution she could muster, she slipped it out of her back pocket and bit her lip at the sight of who was calling. Emily’s hand trembled as she brought the device to her ear and answered. 

“You could’ve just talked to me on comms.” She tried to keep her tone light and cheerful.

“So everyone could hear me tear into you?” JJ hissed. “I’d rather not.”

“JJ—”

“Please say you didn’t actually tell Luke not to let anyone – me included – up there.” 

“I did tell him that,” Emily said.

“Lie to me then.” JJ made her own attempt at concealing her emotions; the words were shrouded in anger, but they cracked around the edges. “Tell me those words never came out of your mouth and I will be there with you in two minutes.”

“You can’t be up here.”

“Why not? I can keep you company. I can…I can help figure out what to do—”

“As your Unit Chief, I am ordering you to stay clear until this entire building has been declared safe.”

The silence on the other end of the line was deafening. Emily was well aware it was a low-blow, but she was desperate to keep JJ safe. Desperate to keep the damage, if any, to a minimal.

“You’re pulling the Unit Chief card on me?” JJ asked in disbelief.

“Yes,” Emily admitted through a defeated sigh. “Just because I’m hoping it’ll work. JJ, you are the only person I want to see right now, but you cannot be here.”

“Why not?” JJ wondered again in a strained voice.

“Because there are two young boys at home who look up to you and love you and, most importantly, need you.”

“They look up to, love, and need you too.”

“They can’t lose both of us,” Emily said softly. 

“They’re not going to lose either of us,” JJ countered. “You’re going to be fine. The Bomb Squad will be here any minute, and they’ll know what to do. They’ll know how to disarm it. You’re going to be fine.”

Emily gripped the phone harder, willing JJ’s assertion to be true. “I know. But I want to have all of my bases covered. I can’t and won’t be the reason you get hurt.”

“Emily…” 

“Please, JJ. Please.” 

There was a pause, and Emily pictured JJ contemplating the plea.

“Fine,” JJ surrendered. “But neither of us is hanging up.”

A sense of love and gratitude coursed through Emily and she smiled despite herself. She should have known JJ would find a way to be there without physically being there.

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Emily told her. She made the executive decision to not tack on the fact that, if it came down to it, JJ’s voice was the last thing she wanted to hear with her time.

“Good.”

There were muffled sounds; JJ was talking to someone near her, but Emily couldn’t make out what was being said. 

“Bomb Squad is here,” JJ announced. “They’re on their way up. Hang tight.”

“The options for where I could go are somewhat limited, so I think I’m good.”

“You know what I mean.”

“Right,” Emily confirmed. “Don’t move because the bomb could go off and that would be potentially problematic.”

“How are you calm enough to make jokes right now?” JJ asked.

It was a fair question, and one which really only had a single answer.

“You.”

“Me?”

“You’re very good at keeping me distracted and thinking about other things. It helps with the blood pressure.”

“I’m happy to help.”

Emily heard footsteps behind her and peered around. A tall man clad in body armor materialized in the doorway, giving Emily a wave.

“Agent Prentiss? I’m Drew Thompson, head of this division.”

“Hello,” Emily acknowledged him. “It must suck meeting new people in your line of work what with the usual conditions that cross your paths.” 

“You’re not wrong,” Thompson chuckled. “Just wanted to provide you with a game plan: my team is setting up in the apartment downstairs so we can get a look at the device, and as soon as the building is evacuated, we’ll get going. It’s a good thing you were so aware and knowledgeable. Someone else may haven’t thought about it and taken another step. Then, well, what happens next is…”

“Yeah, I know,” Emily assured him. “Let me know if there’s anything else I can do?”

“Nothing right now. Just hang in there.”

The roll of Emily’s eyes was inevitable. “Oddly enough, I’ve already been given that piece of advice.”

Thompson gave a small smile. “And don’t worry, I’ll come up and check on you and give you updates. You are precious cargo.”

“I’m sorry?”

“The blonde woman outside? She told me if I don’t make sure you’re okay she’ll have me removed from the squad and exiled from the city. Normally I would ignore those types of comments, but she seemed very committed.”

Emily nodded absently as Thompson left with a final shrug.

“JJ,” she said into the phone, “did you threaten the captain of the Bomb Squad?”

“No. I simply informed him of what would become of him if anything happens to you,” JJ clarified.

“Sure. Of course.”

There was a lull, and both women knew the other was deeply feeling the weight of the situation. Emily wanted to keep the atmosphere optimistic to ward off the thoughts of things going horribly wrong. JJ’s entire existence aimed to remain calm, cool, and collected, even though there was virtually nothing she could do to help. 

“Stop it,” Emily told her, knowing full well what JJ was thinking.

“Stop what?”

“Internally beating yourself up for not being able to do anything. This? Talking to you? If anything is going to get me through, this is it.”

“And I meant what I said about not hanging up,” JJ returned. “I just feel like it’d be a little better if I—”

“You’re still not coming up here,” Emily stated firmly.

“Fine.” It came out as a whine.

Emily glanced down at her feet and, against her will, imagined what the device looked like. A sigh escaped her lips, prompting worry from JJ.

“What is it?”

“We didn’t profile this unsub as a bomber,” Emily explained. 

“To be fair, we’re not incredibly far in our profile yet. That’s an element that may come up a little later.”

“This is a pretty big thing to miss.”

“Again, if you want to get technical, we didn’t miss it. The goal of coming here was to get more pieces of the puzzle – this wasn’t our endgame.”

“You’re trying to make me feel better about myself.”

“Well, yeah,” JJ answered. “As your girlfriend, isn’t that one of my top duties?”

“It is,” Emily agreed, smiling. “But can we talk about something else? You know, so I can take my mind off of my current location.”

It took less than a second for JJ to change the subject.

“Do you ever project yourself into the future?”

Emily considered the question for a moment before deciding she needed more. “Ahh…what?”

“It’s what my mom asked me last time she was in town,” JJ said. “She put this idea in my head about conjuring up futures and how they play out. Specific scenarios of where you see yourself in 15, 20 years from now.”

“Got it,” Emily responded. “I’d say yes then. I do that a lot.”

“What does it look like?”

Emily called an image into her mind – one she’d visualized multiple times but had never vocalized. 

“You’re there,” Emily began. She fiddled with the Velcro on her vest as she searched for the right description.

“I’d better be.”

“You are. We’re somewhere secluded. Far away from most of civilization. I’m thinking the Swiss Alps or somewhere in New Zealand. Henry and Michael are out in the world kicking ass at whatever they decide to do, and we spend our days doing absolutely nothing except drinking wine and watching movies and finally learning how to cook.”

“I do know how to cook!” JJ replied in an indignant tone. 

“There’s always room for improvement, especially for me.”

“Fair,” JJ allowed. “I like that future, though. It’s peaceful.”

“How does your projection appear?” Emily asked.

“Actually, not too different from yours. Somewhere that feels like the edge of the world. The trees stretch so far into the horizon we can’t tell the difference. The boys are wherever they are, happy and successful. We wander around without a care in the world. Maybe even take up gardening.”

“Gardening?”

“Why not?”

“Remember that flower Garcia got me for my birthday? I couldn’t even keep it alive for a week.”

JJ was quiet while she thought about it. “It might be a good idea for you to stay far away from the garden.”

“I’ll provide the moral support,” Emily vowed. “But living with you at the edge of the world sounds like a perfect future.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. Count me in.”

“Good answer.”

“You’re my favorite person, you know that don’t you?” Emily hadn’t meant to say it out loud, at least not yet, but her emotions and worries were coming to a boil. She knew it was going to take time for the Bomb Squad to get things sorted out; she just had hoped it would be an overall quick and easy process. The longer she didn’t hear anything from them the more amplified her fear became.

JJ was stumbling in her answer, unsure of what words to put together.

“I’m serious,” Emily said. “I have no idea what I ever did to deserve you, but you will never hear me complain. I need you to know that you are my favorite person and always will be. No matter what happens.”

JJ’s breath audibly caught in her throat. “Why does that sound like a final declaration?”

“It’s not. I mean, I guess it might turn out to be, but—”

“Emily.”

The pain that encompassed her name cut Emily’s sentence short. 

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry,” JJ said gently. “I just…I can’t…I don’t know what I’ll do if anything happens to you.”

Emily nodded to herself, fully understanding the sentiment. She knew she would feel the same exact way if the roles were reversed. “Everything’s going to be fine. I needed to tell you that though. I’ve never actually said it to you and it’s something you should know. Now seemed like a good time to get it off my chest.”

“I appreciate it. I think it goes without saying, but you’re my favorite person too.”

“No, no,” Emily disputed. “That should go with saying. Being Jennifer Jareau’s favorite person is a big deal. Everyone should know that title belongs to me.”

There was a light chuckle from JJ’s end. “Okay, well, get down here safely and I will remind you, and everyone in our lives, you’re my favorite person in the entire universe every day for the rest of our lives.”

At that moment, Thompson again appeared in the apartment’s doorway. Emily rotated her upper body slowly to get a better look at him and lowered the phone. 

“How’s it going up here, Agent Prentiss?”

“To be honest with you, Thompson, not much has changed since the last time you checked in.”

“How are you feeling? Any fatigue?”

“None that I was aware of until you just mentioned it,” Emily noted. She shook off the thought about how nice it would be to sit down. “How are things on your end?”

“We’ve got eyes on the device,” Thompson said. “We’re going to attempt to disarm it in the next few minutes using a retractable arm we fish through the ceiling.”

“And what exactly are the chances that it’s going to be a successful attempt?” Emily asked hesitantly.

Thompson shifted from foot to foot – a privilege Emily didn’t currently possess – and clasped his hands together. “We won’t know until we get closer to the bomb. From what we can tell at this point, there isn’t anything spectacularly unique or difficult about it.”

“But there’s a possibility you get thrown for a loop?”

“We’ll cross that bridge if we get to it.” He inclined his head slightly and left before Emily got the chance to reply. His evasion of Emily’s final question made her heart rate sore. 

“Sorry,” Emily said back into the phone. “Update from the Bomb Squad.”

“And?” JJ wondered.

“They’re about to disarm it,” Emily answered, opting to exclude certain information.

“They feel good about what they’re doing?”

“Seems like it. Thompson sounded confident.” What JJ didn’t know wouldn’t hurt her. 

“Good. That’s good.” 

“You still sound worried,” Emily observed.

“The love of my life is currently standing on a bomb, and, because she is so damn stubborn, won’t allow me to be there with her to at least keep her company. I think I’m allowed to be a little worried.”

“You should try being the one standing on a bomb.”

“That’s not funny,” JJ said, but it was evident there was a smile, no matter how small, on her face.

Emily took a deep breath, determined to remain concentrated on JJ and the soft, silvery sound of her voice instead of thinking about what was going on downstairs. “So, love of your life, huh?”

“What, like you didn’t already know that?”

“Hey, it’s nice to be reassured. Considering how long it took us to get here—”

“Oh, no, no, no, no,” JJ interrupted hurriedly. “We are not going there again.”

“Going where?” 

“Every time our relationship is discussed, we always end up talking about how long it took us to admit our feelings.”

Emily hooked her thumb around her vest’s strap. “It is part of our story.”

“Yes, we get it, we were in love for years and both too afraid to say anything. You know what’s better?” JJ asked Emily. “Focusing on where we finally are.”

Though Emily knew JJ didn’t mean it literally, she couldn’t help but glance around the apartment again. It had somehow become uglier. Emily noticed her hands trembling again and bit back a sob: tears had seemingly come from nowhere and were now trying to force themselves out. 

She struggled to convince herself that the Bomb Squad would be able to disarm the bomb and she would be able to exit the building in just a few minutes’ time. Now that they were about to make an attempt, the possibility of it backfiring hung all around the room.

Emily swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat. “JJ?”

“Hmm?”

“I’m kind of terrified right now.” The admission came as a whisper, so quiet Emily at first doubted JJ had even heard it.

But JJ cleared her throat to signal she had indeed caught the statement and was composing her thoughts to respond. “I know,” she said eventually. “Everything is going to be fine.”

“This isn’t how it’s supposed to end. This isn’t when or where it’s supposed to end either, and I don’t know—” 

“Hey,” JJ intervened, sensing Emily’s downward spiral, “you have every right to be terrified, okay? Allow yourself to feel that, but don’t you dare let it wear you down. Everything is going to be fine.”

“How can you be so sure?” Emily forced out. 

“Because you are Emily Prentiss, and you’re right. Today is not your day to go. It’s going to take more than this to beat you.” JJ paused before adding, “Also, you once promised me we’d go to France and you’d show me the ins and outs of the country, not just Paris. I haven’t forgotten that, and I am most definitely holding you to it. You don’t get to skip out on me before then.”

Something between a laugh and a cry escaped Emily’s mouth as she brushed away loose tears. “You’re right.”

“Say that again.”

“You are right. You somehow always are.”

“Don’t you forget it.”

“I couldn’t be happier with where we are now by the way,” Emily mentioned. “To go back to your point about focusing on where we’ve ended up.”

“Really?” 

“I would’ve waited 100 lifetimes for you, so, yes, really.”

“You’d find me waiting for you in those lifetimes too.”

Emily ran her free hand through her hair. “God, do you hear us right now? When did we become such clichés?”

“Hey, if a life with you dooms me to overused expressions, so be it. I’ll take that action.”

“You make a very good point.”

“And besides, if they apply, we should use—”

At first, Emily thought JJ had abruptly stopped talking for some reason, but when no continuation came, she looked at her phone. It took everything in her not to throw it clear across the room. 

JJ had reminded Emily to charge the thing way back on the plane hours ago, and Emily had reassured her she would. But she never got around to it as the case escalated quickly. Now she was forced to deal with the consequences and hoped to whatever higher power existed those weren’t the last words she’d hear from JJ’s mouth.

Emily’s breath was coming out in short spurts again, her chest heaving. She thought of her life, the future she’d envisioned for herself and JJ; the tranquility and the hope of it were enough to help slow Emily’s breathing. 

After an indeterminable number of minutes, Emily heard footsteps approaching. A glance over her shoulder told her Thompson had come back yet again. He stood rigid. 

“We believe we’ve disarmed the device, Agent Prentiss,” Thompson announced in a formal way. 

“How firm of a belief is this?” Emily inquired. She had returned her phone to her back pocket and her hands were balled into fists.

“We feel as good as the situation allows,” Thompson told her. “Which is really all we can ask for.” 

Emily nodded once in acknowledgement. “So, what do you need me to do?”

“Take a step.”

It was simultaneously the easiest and hardest direction Emily had ever received. 

Her heart leapt into her throat when she contemplated the implications, the possible outcomes of the simple action she was told to do.

“Agent Prentiss? I said we need you to—”

“I heard you,” Emily said. “I’m trying to find the nerve to do it.”

Thompson took a stab at highlighting the logic of it all. “This is the only way we can be certain the bomb has been neutralized.”

“I get that. My head just can’t shake the idea of taking the step and getting blown up.”

“I wouldn’t be instructing you to do this if I wasn’t confident.”

Emily heard the quiet desperation in the man’s tone and understood it to be that of someone making a difficult call because of the faith it’s the right one. She had been in Thompson’s shoes many times: asking people around her to trust in her and march on despite the dangers. This sympathy is what propelled her forward, leaving behind the squeaky, shifty floorboard.

And it was with the biggest sigh of relief that Emily almost collapsed to the ground when nothing happened.

Instead, she whipped around to stare at Thompson, who was wearing a pleased smile. 

“Thank god we were right,” he commented. “It could’ve been bad otherwise.”

“Thank you,” Emily said sincerely. “For everything. Thank you.”

“Only doing my job,” Thompson replied. He could tell by Emily’s manner she had other things – or rather, other people – on her mind, and stepped out of the doorway to allow her space to get by. She gave him a quick pat on the shoulder as she passed by, unsure how else to express her gratitude.

Emily took the stairs in leaps and bounds, skipping as many steps as she could. She hadn’t been on the topmost floor, but it wasn’t obvious. Time had crept to almost a standstill; the seconds dragged on, and Emily felt like she’d been descending for hours when she burst into an eerily empty lobby.

She kept on, making for the building’s front door and out into the parking lot, searching for a blonde ponytail.

JJ was pacing alongside one of the team’s SUVs. Her phone was clutched in her hand as though it were a lifeline, and it was only after three more back-and-forths that she saw Emily standing a few feet away and stopped in her tracks. JJ opened her mouth to say something, but couldn’t quite figure out what that something was and snapped it shut.

Seeing JJ, actually laying eyes on the woman, knocked the wind out of Emily. She would’ve been okay looking at nothing else for all eternity.

Emily assumed a sheepish grin and threw up her shoulders. “My phone died.”

“I thought I reminded you to charge it,” JJ said in a strangled and far off voice. 

Before Emily was able to answer, JJ closed the distance between them and launched herself into Emily’s arms. They stumbled slightly, but Emily was able to keep them from falling and buried her face in JJ’s hair. It was the first time she experienced the concept of finding home in another person’s arms.

Damn clichés, Emily thought. 

“I thought I’d lost you,” JJ murmured. She leaned back to gaze at Emily with blue eyes that sparkled with tears.

“Nah,” Emily said as she brushed a thumb across JJ’s cheek. “Weren’t you the one to say it’s going to take more than that to get rid of me?”

The ghost of a smile crossed JJ’s face. “I guess that did come from me.” She gripped the front of Emily’s vest to pull her closer.

“It was only a little bomb,” Emily remarked with a grin of her own. “Nothing to worry about.”

“Be quiet,” JJ replied, though her lips had pulled up into a genuine smile. Her arms wound around Emily’s waist, and JJ rested on Emily’s shoulder. 

“Besides,” Emily went on, clasping her hands behind JJ’s back to hold her tightly, “we still have to see France.”

“I believe I remember you saying something about seeing Germany and Italy and Greece too,” JJ said thoughtfully.

Emily pressed her lips to the to crown of JJ’s head. “We can go anywhere and everywhere we want. We do have the rest of our lives, after all.”

JJ’s exhale of contentment was all the agreement Emily needed.


	9. 17.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just...something quick for Valentine's Day, I guess?!

17.

“I have a confession to make.”

JJ swiveled around in her chair to see Emily standing there, hands behind her back and a sheepish smile on her face. She appeared as though she knew all too well a reprimand was coming her way and was doing whatever she could to get in front of it.

Everyone else had left for the night, leaving the two women alone to wait for each other’s final swipe of a pen on reports and desperate sigh of relief.

“Well,” JJ started as she folded her hands in her lap, “if we have to bury a body, we’re going home to get your car because mine is way too clean for that kind of mess.”

Emily’s smile widened. “No,” she said with a shake of her head, “that’s not it. Maybe one day, but not tonight. Though, I do find it very reassuring you displayed no hesitations about helping me if that did turn out to be the case.”

“I’d never make you go through such a thing alone.”

“I’ll remember that in the future.” Emily shifted her weight from one foot to the other and drew in a deep breath. On the exhale, she continued, “I forgot it was Valentine’s Day until Rossi mentioned it while walking in the building. Turns out, the perks of being Unit Chief only extend so far and do not include securing very last-minute reservations at any of the popular restaurants around here.”

JJ stared intently at Emily for a few seconds, then broke into laughter. “Are you serious?”

“What’s so funny?” Emily demanded.

“ _That’s_ what you looked so worried to tell me?” JJ stood up and took a step forward. “Oh, Emily Prentiss, I really am lucky to have a wife like you.” Her fingers found Emily’s collar and delicately brushed at it. “But I assure you forgetting Valentine’s Day is nothing to feel guilty about.”

Emily narrowed her eyes in suspicion. “Really?” she asked.

Neither of them cared greatly about the grand, sweeping gestures that typically accompanied the day of romance. Serenades, singing candygrams, jewelry – none of it was very practical; they didn’t harbor any proclivities for them and they certainly didn’t resent the absence of them.

Yet, this was JJ and Emily’s first Valentine’s Day together since getting married, which led them both to the mindset that an unspoken agreement existed and they should celebrate the day in stereotypical fashion. That is, until a case in Massachusetts materialized three days ago, keeping the team away until mid-evening on the 14th of February.

“Really,” JJ said. “It’s a day fueled by capitalism, intended to get people to spend money on a sentiment that should be present in relationships every day of the year, not just the one.” A mischievous grin spread across her lips.

“You’re right,” Emily agreed, matching JJ’s playful tone. “It makes for a terrible holiday. Love is overrated anyway.”

“Totally. Besides…” JJ cocked her head as she went on, “I may have also forgotten it was Valentine’s Day right up until Matt asked what we were doing tonight on the flight home.”

“We do have a very taxing, very stressful job,” Emily reasoned, to which JJ nodded fervently in response.

“We do, we really do. We’re allowed to forget things now and then.”

“I did, however, get the chance to run out – I mean that literally, I practically sprinted there – and get…” Emily brought her hands from behind her back with a flourish to offer the flowers to JJ, “these.”

JJ took them, and her grin softened to a loving smile. “Emily, they’re beautiful.”

“I know flowers are cliché, but I couldn’t get you nothing, and I’d like to think I sidestepped being a _total_ cliché by springing for orchids instead of the ever-predictable roses—”

“I love them,” JJ interrupted. “And I love you.”

Emily nodded happily. “Hey, I love you too.”

“Getting flowers might be a cliché, but it’s not a cliché I’ve been able to experience, which means these are appreciated.”

“You’ve never gotten flowers from anyone?” Emily asked in disbelief.

JJ shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly. “None of my past relationships were the giving-flowers-type.”

“My god, you truly are fortunate to be married to me.”

“That I am.”

There was a moment of silence; Emily attempted to hide her expectant gaze but couldn’t help simultaneously trying to will her thoughts onto her wife. JJ, meanwhile, dawned an innocent look, despite the glint in her eyes. She let the tension grow a little more before cutting into it.

“Oh,” JJ said finally, “you’re probably wondering if I managed to get you anything.”

“What? No, I didn’t…” Emily feigned confusion. When JJ pulled one of her desk drawers open, though, Emily perked up.

“I can read your expressions from a mile away,” JJ told her. “Of course I got you something. But forewarning, it’s kind of a cliché too, and not nearly as romantic as your gift.” She pulled out a cardboard box and handed it to Emily. 

Through the transparent plastic insert on top of the box Emily could see an assortment of a dozen donuts. From plain to chocolate with sprinkles to jelly-filled, JJ had managed to contain the gambit of flavors, all from Emily’s favorite bakery down the road from the building. As far as Valentine’s Day gifts went, Emily couldn’t think of a better one.

“This is, quite literally, the best thing you could have gotten me,” Emily said. “You know me well.”

“I should hope so,” JJ answered, “considering I’ve dedicated the rest of my life to you. Might as well know everything I can.”

Emily slid the box of donuts onto JJ’s desk so she could close the space between them. JJ’s arm that wasn’t supporting the bouquet wound around Emily’s neck. Their lips had touched on countless occasions, but each time brought with it a reinvigorated sense of purpose and life.

“Some celebration of love, huh?” Emily wondered once they broke apart.

“Hmm,” JJ hummed in thought. “It doesn’t need to be over yet.” Her countenance changed to subtle triumph, like she had deciphered the solution to a tricky question.

“Yeah?” Emily raised an intrigued eyebrow. “What kind of idea do you have in that beautiful mind of yours?”

“Give me five minutes. Meet me at the elevators.” JJ laid the flowers next to the donuts and started backtracking out of the bullpen.

“Where are you—”

“Trust me.” JJ shot Emily a thumbs up. “And grab your coat.” Then she seized her own jacket and turned on her heel to exit through the glass doors.

Emily stood rooted in place for a single beat. She couldn’t foresee a situation which would require her coat and therefore skipped that request. Her footsteps echoed in the empty lobby as she made way to the meeting point, still confused. As Emily arrived at it, she paced until the elevator doors opened to reveal JJ holding a stack of blankets.

“Well?” JJ asked after Emily didn’t move. “Are you getting in or not?”

The doors charged to a close, forcing Emily to deftly slip in between them.

“JJ?” Emily took notice of the lit-up button for the building’s topmost floor, but she had different queries first.

“Yes?”

“Where did you get this absurd number of blankets?”

“The car.” It was said as if it were the most obvious fact ever.

“Really?”

“Emily, you’re the one who put them there last year. This isn’t even all of them. I’m pretty sure there are at least four more in the trunk.”

Emily recalled a vague memory of loading JJ’s car with, among other essentials, blankets and flashlights and extra batteries and a backup gun hidden under a seat. “Oh, yeah. That slipped my mind.”

“You evaded giving an explanation as to why you made it a doomsday prep stash, by the way,” JJ mused.

“Hey, all I want is to be certain you’re prepared for any scenario that may get thrown at you.”

“Thank you for going to exceptional lengths to ensure my safety.” From anyone else it probably would have sounded like a searching, sarcastic remark, but coming from JJ it was genuine. The adoring expression on her face said as much.

The elevator let them off; JJ took the right side the hallway with Emily following closely behind. Just prior to the corridor’s end, JJ stopped at a door on which a clear, obvious label was stamped: EMERGENCY EXIT ONLY. Emily thought JJ either somehow didn’t notice the large warning or simply didn’t care, because she pushed it open with her shoulder. No alarm sounded.

“It’s not actually armed,” JJ answered in response to Emily’s inquisitive stare. “Hasn’t been since I started here.”

There was a short staircase on the opposite side of the door, and JJ continued on. At the top, she shoved another one; it led to the rooftop which, Emily realized, wasn’t a surprise given where they were in the building. But what did come as a shock was the door’s existence at all and the view the roof provided. Glowing buildings all over the city were visible; they poked upwards, reaching for whatever higher powers might exist. The sky met the horizon at what looked like the edge of the earth and stretched endlessly.

Emily neared the edge, but didn’t too close, and chanced a glance down. They were stories above the ground – removed from the rest of the universe and in their own corner.

“How’d you learn about the door?” Emily asked over her shoulder.

“Some guy,” JJ said casually. The indifference of the reply compelled Emily to spin around swiftly.

“‘Some guy?’” she repeated as she walked towards the center of the rooftop where JJ was spreading out the numerous blankets. “What does that even mean – ‘some guy?’”

“It means,” JJ began, placing the final blanket on the pile before continuing, “my dear, darling wife, that many years ago, I dropped off paperwork to one of the offices on the top floor. On my journey back I saw some guy leave through the door and was curious where it went. So, I followed him, making note of the lack of alarms, and it brought me here. All he came up here to do was smoke, but ever since then I use it as an escape when the rest of life becomes too much.”

“You do?” It was news to Emily – she’d never had an inkling this existed at Quantico, let alone that JJ frequented it on a regular basis.

“Yep,” JJ confirmed. “I came up here after Elle was shot, after they told me I was being transferred, after I got _back_ from being transferred…”

There was something she was withholding. “And?” Emily prompted.

JJ took her time in answering. She sat cross-legged on the blankets and looked towards the landscape spread out under them. “I came up here the night I realized I love you,” she said eventually. “To make it real, I said the words out loud. Like I was hoping the sky would tell me what to do or the wind would carry them to you so you knew.”

Emily, usually quick-witted and braced with a reply for any type of conversation, struggled with finding something to say. To stall briefly, she shadowed JJ’s movements, easing herself onto the soft heap.

“Did this wide expanse afford you any clarity?” Emily inquired. They had retold their story to so many people – coworkers and family members and, for good measure, higher officials in the bureau – to the point where both women felt it was etched into the fabric of their lives, and still they never failed to evoke amazement.

“It did,” JJ said. “Even if it took longer than it should have. I’m sure a lot of people know about the not-so-secret door, but _you_ are the first person I’ve actively shown this very location to.”

“Jennifer Jareau,” Emily returned with a light shove to her shoulder, “I had no idea you are such a romantic.”

“Gotta love the element of surprise.”

They laid on the island of blankets, JJ resting her head in the crook of Emily’s shoulder. The roof wasn’t far enough removed from civilization to offer a glimpse at a crystal clear, star-filled sky, but the deep blue canvas still managed to be sprinkled with them. The air was crisp and cool, dancing across their exposed skin and leaving goosebumps in its wake.

“I can officially cross this off my bucket list,” Emily said into the night a few minutes later.

JJ adjusted herself to gape at Emily. “You have a bucket list?”

“I sure do. Made it back in high school. It’s full of things like sky diving, dancing in the rain, and, naturally, star-gazing. I had big dreams for myself.”

“And how many items have you crossed off so far?”

“Not many,” Emily admitted, smiling wryly. “Let’s see…I’ve been to the top of the Eiffel Tower and visited the Louvre. I’ve learned a couple of languages. I’ve seen Wicked on Broadway. I spent Spring Break in Miami Beach…”

“That’s a good many,” JJ remarked.

“‘Dying’ wasn’t on the original list, but now that I’ve done that and survived, I’d like to add it so I can call it a finished task.”

“Fair enough.”

“Most importantly, my favorite thing I’ve crossed off the list is marrying the love of my life.”

A grin grew across JJ’s lips. “Yeah? Who would that be?”

Emily sighed melodramatically. “Oh, you know.” She paused for effect. “Some girl.” The joke earned her a poke in the ribs.

“Star-gazing is absolutely worthy of being on a bucket list. Even if we’re too close to the city to see anything good.”

“That’s not completely true.” Emily pointed a finger upwards. “You see those stars there?” She drew invisible lines between them to indicate which ones.

“Sure.”

“They make up Gemini – one of the first zodiac constellations defined back in the 2nd century.”

JJ squinted her eyes in an attempt to get a better view. “Really?” She felt Emily shrug her shoulders.

“I have no idea,” Emily answered honestly, eliciting a chuckle from JJ. “I just picked random stars and recited a little of the very minimal knowledge of constellations I have. It sounded good though, right?”

“It sounded great,” JJ assured her.

Emily absentmindedly ran a hand up and down JJ’s shoulder, and they basked in the heartening detail the stars above had aligned in a way that guided them together. The roof may be vulnerable to a biting wind, and Valentine’s Day may have been forgotten by both JJ and Emily until a couple of hours ago, but there was something to be said about finding a point of stillness in an otherwise chaotic world with the person you love.

“JJ,” Emily said after a while.

“Yes?”

“What would you say if I told you I was maybe, kind of, sort of getting cold?”

JJ inched closer into Emily. “I would say that I specifically told you to grab your coat because I knew this exact situation would occur if you didn’t.”

“Okay,” Emily acknowledged. “I’m not telling you I’m cold. I was just wondering what you’d say if I did.”

“Uh huh. Right.”

When the next gust of wind blew around, JJ sat up abruptly. “I don’t want you freezing to death.”

“Wow, what a wonderful concept to hear from my wife.” Emily propped herself on her elbows. “I appreciate it.”

“I hear Rossi decided to bring _Super Mario Odyssey_ in for his office,” JJ said, and her eyebrows arched in a suggestive manner.

“Seriously?” Emily had to swallow an exclamation of excitement. “We have to play it. He’s been sitting on that game for months. It’s damn well time he shares it.”

“To Rossi’s office we go.”

JJ leaned in to kiss Emily, but what started as a light graze deepened instantly when the spark their relationship had always ignited jumped between them. Emily pulled JJ down with her, never breaking apart. They moved in sync; JJ flung a leg over Emily’s midriff to achieve a studier position, and Emily tangled both of her hands in JJ’s hair. They melted into each other, momentarily forgetting their settings.

“I’m not freezing yet,” Emily murmured when they finally paused to catch their breaths. “In fact, after that little affair, I think I’m beginning to warm up.”

“Is that so?” JJ whispered, but not before placing a trail of kisses along Emily’s jawline.

“Mhmm.”

“Maybe we should stay up here a little longer then.”

“We should definitely do that.”

JJ grinned into the next kiss. “I guess Valentine’s Day isn’t the worst.”

Emily hovered her lips painfully close to JJ’s for a heartbeat. “I’ve never said a bad thing about Valentine’s Day in my life.” Then, the little distance between them vanished as if it never existed in the first place.


End file.
